secretsaturdays
The episode opens...
Zak [Voice Over] Everybody has secrets...
Zak My family just has bigger ones. They're called Cryptids.
Zak All the strange, exotic creatures that regular science doesn't believe in.
Zak That's what we do.
Zak Any kind, any size, anywhere in the world. The Saturday family is going to get the call.
Miranda Argost -- paid me a visit! He took my piece of the stone!
Doc Argost.
Zak Stone?
Drew The Kur Stone... Ultimate, limitless power.
Doc We split it into three pieces, each left in the care of a different secret scientist. As long as we kept them apart, the key to finding Kur was safe.
Zak But you didn't keep them apart. Argost just got two of the pieces, right?
Argost My name is V.V. Argost. You and your friends broke into my home, and stole a wonderful giant stone from me. Did I mention I'd very much like it back?
[Intro Plays]
Doc I'm hoping we won't even need your special abilities, Zak. But just in case, I've been working on something to help you use them.
Zak It's... a stick?
Zak That's really... Uh, what's it supposed to do?
Doc Let's go find out.
Zak Hm... Zak like.
Doc Spring loaded cable, telescoping shaft, grappling hook, vaulting-and-retrieval functionality. I've been calling it the Multi-function Adaptive Combat Defensive Enhancement. A mouthful, yes, but maybe you could give it an acronym name like, uh... Mu.F.A.C.D.E.?
Zak Or the claw.
Doc The Hand of Tsul 'Kalu on the end should still help focus your Cryptid influencing powers.
Doc Very good, son.
Zak Sorry, Komodo. It was for science.
Doc Now, this doesn't change the family rules. The minute there's any sign of a fight, your mother and I take over.
Zak Are you saying Argost is tougher than Doc Saturday? Because I seem to be doing okay against you.
Zak Oh, really?
Doc Who's still the big dog?
Zak Woof.
Doc You're still not fighting Argost.
Zak Are you kidding me? That was...
Drew Zak, strap in! Doc, weapons. We found him.
Argost Uh, Munya, could you possibly dogfight with a little more self-control? We're not savages!
Drew Grab something!
Drew Where'd he go? Doc!
Doc I'm looking.
Doc Behind us!
Drew I can't get rid of him! Unless somebody calls in a miracle work, we're losing this dog fight!
Zak Fisk?
Fiskerton [Garbled inquisitive sound]
Zak Nothing to worry about, buddy. I've got an idea.
Zak You throw me towards Argost's warplane. Me and the claw will do the rest.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak What? How do we know it's not gonna work?
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Drew Zak!
Zak You owe me. Remember, Fiji? You'd still be cursed if it wasn't for me.
Fiskerton [Garbled retort]
Fiskerton Aah!
Zak Aah!
Munya [Chuckle]
Doc Boys!
Drew Zak!
Zak Mom, Dad!
Drew What were you thinking? Are you legally insane? Never, ever do that again!
Zak I had it handled. You banked that plane on purpose, didn't you?
Drew I can't believe you tried a stunt that stupid!
Zak I can't believe you messed up my stupid stunt. Why do you guys always have to be the heroes? I've got what it takes if you just give me a chance to prove it.
Doc Drew, why don't you see what supplies we can salvage? I'll take this one. Father/son bonding time.
Zak Do we have to?
Drew Anything broken?
Fiskerton [Garbled "Uh, yeah."]
Drew You're hilarious. Besides the airship?
Zak I'm not a little kid anymore, Dad. I can handle myself in a fight.
Doc Do you ever wonder why you have the power you do? That gift with Cryptids?
Zak Sometimes.
Doc Your mother has a theory. In every ancient legend, there's a balance. Or in terms I'm more comfortable with. For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction.
Doc Your mother and I brought the potential for great evil into the world eleven years ago... but that was also the year you were born.
Zak I... I don't understand.
Doc We told you Kur is the key to unlimited power, but we didn't tell you how.
Doc If Argost can find and control Kur, he'll have the power to raise an entire army of Cryptids. What kind of power could stand against a man with an army of Cryptids at his disposal?
Zak M-Mine?
Doc Equal and opposite. Forces balanced.
Doc Zak, we're afraid that if this Kur madness gets out into the world, you may be the only one who can stop it. Well, that's an awful lot of pressure to put on an eleven-year-old boy.
Zak So I should just let you guys know when I'm ready to save the world?
Doc Well, like I said, it's only a theory. Try to keep your ego in check for now.
Drew Doc! I think you're gonna want to see this.
Doc Now may be a good time to test that new equipment.
Zak Ah! Whoa!
Drew Zak!
Doc No!
Drew Zak!
[Act 2]
Doc There's a cortex disruptor in the cargo bay!
Fiskerton [Garbled "Got it"]
Drew There's no time for that.
Drew Give me back my baby boy!
Zak Ahh! Whoa!
Drew Throw me a medical kit. I'm going after Zak.
Doc Behind you!
Fiskerton Ahh!
Doc Drew, are you--?
Doc Nnnh!
Zak Hey! This thing works great!
Doc I'm so glad... would you mind?
Zak Hey, there. Who's a good birdie?
Doc I don't see anything like it in any of the Cryptozoology databases. It looks like some holdout from the prehistoric era.
Drew Zak, stop petting it. That thing tried to eat your father's head.
Zak She was just defending herself, Mom. Look. We went right through her nest when we crashed.
Zak Can you blame her for thinking we were the enemy? Poor girl.
Fiskerton [Garbled interaction with Komodo]
Zak Hey, wait!
Doc Let's go. We've got a piece of stone to recover. [Montage]
Drew This is it.
Doc Zak?
Zak Doing my thing.
Doc No Tapire-lauara. We're in luck.
Drew Yeah, we'll see about that.
Drew Ah, It's still here.
Doc Wrap it back up. We've pushed our luck here long enough. Let's get...
Zak They followed us!
Doc Drew, go! Save the stone.
Argost [Insane cackling]
Argost No more secrets, Saturdays. You can't keep me from what I was meant to have.
Argost Oh, I'm going to find Kur. I only wish you could live long enough to see your own precious Cryptids turn against you. But sadly, "c'était de l'amour"...
Zak Mom!
Drew Zak!
Zak Stay- back!
Argost They're called "Devonian Annelid", filthy little brutes, but they do so love the taste of human essence.
Zak No!
Argost Sweet dreams, little Saturday.
[Act 3]
Zak Mom? Dad? What's--
Argost Ahem? Greetings and bienvenue! Young Saturday, I don't believe you've had the pleasure of meeting my manservant--
Zak Munya! Yeah, I watch-
Zak ...All of the most wanted lists for the latest...
Zak Ugh. I've seen your TV show, okay, it's wrong, you're evil. I know! It's still good TV...
Argost Well, as long as we're all fast friends.
Drew You got what you wanted, Argost. Why are you still here?
Argost Dear lady? Would anyone ever visit the circus if they didn't secretly hope to see the lions eat somebody?
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Argost It's been a dry season. Poor hunting for the unfortunate Tapire-iauara. Won't they be thrilled to see the "hors d'oeuvres" I've prepared for them?
Drew Zak, no! Don't let Argost see--!
Argost Oh, dear boy! That's an unusual gift you have, hmm?
Zak It's okay, Mom. I don't care if he knows what I can do.
Zak I'm ready for this.
Doc We've never pushed your power this far. You might only make them angrier.
Zak No, Dad, I'm ready.
Drew Doc, I--
Doc Give him a chance.
Argost Now, now, my pet. No playing with your fool.
Argost Attack them! Now!
Doc It's not working! Cut it off!
Zak Just about-- got him!
Argost Nnh! Munya!
Zak Did anyone else know that he could do that?
Drew Don't try to take him alone, Zak. He's too powerful.
Argost Ahh!
Zak Sick 'em!
Drew Zak, look out!
Zak "Mongolian Death Worm Venom"!
Drew How did you know--
Zak Saw that episode?
Argost Ooh
Argost Ahh!
Doc No... Zak! Above you!
Zak Huh?
Argost It warns me to melt the insides of such a magnificent beast, but I'm a very petty man!
Zak No!
Argost Take -- your -- medicine!
Argost Aah!
Argost Alas, 'tis the hour of "adieu". Many unhappy pestilences to you all!
Zak They got the last piece of the stone!
Zak Sorry Dad.
Doc I saw what you did, Zak. You made an impossible choice in an impossible situation. And as far as I'm concerned, you made the right one.
Doc I can't speak for the rest of the world, but you're definitely my hero.
Zak Hey, easy, Fuzz Face!
Drew More importantly, you're a Saturday, and things always seem to have a way of working out for Saturdays.
Doc Okay! Nobody touches that spot!
Zak Looks like we got a new Secret Saturday, huh?
Zak I'm gonna name her Zon. You know, like, Ama-Zon? She's coming home with us, right?
Zak Ta-da!
Zak What do you think?
Zak Nice, huh? The guys have a nest warming gift for you... Guys?
Zak Come on, I want to see how far they've gotten with the stone piece.
Zak Whoa! Nice graphic modeling, Dad! Sweet detail work.
Doc That pressing in the mud gave us a perfect mold.
Doc Argost may have the whole puzzle, but at least we've got a start.
Drew Now, my Sumerian's a little rusty, but I can make out a few words.
Drew "Tomb" -- "Keys"... "Kur".
Argost Greetings and bienvenue, faithful, Weird World watchers. I am the incomparable V.V. Argost, your most grave and gracious host. Perhaps you're already asking yourselves, "I wonder what's behind that curtain?" Well, I'm not going to tell you. Why? Because I'm an incorrigible tease.
Argost But I will tell you this much. I've recently come into possession of my most precious find yet. A map, if you will. The key to unlocking the greatest secret in history.
Argost I'm going to follow that map, and I can't wait to show the whole world what I find at the big... red... X...
[Credits Play]
v - e - d Transcripts
Season 1
The Kur Stone:Part One | The Kur Stone:Part Two | The Vengeance of Hibagon | The Ice Caverns of Ellef Ringnes | Guess Who's Going To Be Dinner | The King of Kumari Kandam | Van Rook's Apprentice | Twelve Hundred Degrees Fahrenheit | The Owlman Feeds at Midnight | The Swarm At The Edge Of Space | Eterno | Black Monday | Cryptid vs. Cryptid | The Underworld Bride | Ghost in the Machine | Something in the Water | Target: Fiskerton | Once More the Nightmare Factory | Curse of the Stolen Tiger | The Kur Guardian | Food of the Giants | The Atlas Pin | Paris is Melting | Where Lies the Engulfer | Shadows of Lemuria | Kur Rising
Season 2
Kur:Part One | Kur:Part Two | The Thousand Eyes of Ahuizotl | Into The Mouth of Darkness | The Legion of Garuda | The Return of Tsul 'Kalu | The Unblinking Eye | Life in the Underground | And Your Enemies Closer | War of the Cryptids
Special
T.G.I.S.