| The episode opens... | |
| Doc | All right, try charging numbers three and four. |
|---|---|
| Zak | Green. |
| Doc | Excellent. |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Zak | So what do we have here? Portable electromagnets? Really big flashlights? |
| Doc | Reflex disruptors. I've been thinking the cortex disruptor needed a companion tool. Something for Cryptids that are more muscle than brain. |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Doc | It relaxes the quick twitch muscles on contact. Leg, arm, whatever you don't want to hit you. Any muscle you touch instantly goes dead for up to two minutes. |
| Zak | Uh-huh... And have they been quality tested? |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Doc | Thoroughly. Once I get the charging station up-- |
| Doc | This is not how we quality test. |
| Basil Lancaster | Help... |
| Zak | It sounds like a distress call. |
| Doc | Can't be. That's a satellite tracking monitor. It's not set up for voice. |
| Basil Lancaster | Solomon, Solomon... |
| Zak | D-Dad? Why does the voice that shouldn't exist know you? |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Doc | It's Basil Lancaster, a friend of my father's, a scientist. But that's not- |
| Basil Lancaster | ...For you. Honey Island. The answer? Finish it, Solomon. |
| Zak | He wants you to finish Honey Island. |
| Doc | Honey Island, Louisiana. It's where he used to live, where I helped him with his work. |
| Zak | He used to live. So where does he live now? |
| Doc | He doesn't. Basil Lancaster died more than 25 years ago. |
| [Intro Plays] | |
| Drew | It may not be a glitch, Doc. It could be an actual message from Dr. Lancaster, the part that's left of him. |
| Doc | So what are we believing in now? Ghosts or zombies? |
| Zak | Oh, please tell me it's both! |
| Drew | It's called EVP, electronic voice phenomenon. Now, sometimes a receiver will pick up the protoplasmic energy, the... The spirit of a person who's passed on, just like it was a radio wave. |
| Doc | And Dr. Lancaster's protoplasm just happened to run into my satellite tracker after 25 years? |
| Drew | Uh, there's no just happened to about it. EVPs usually show up when someone has unfinished business. |
| Zak | That's exactly what the ghost said! He told Dad to finish what they did on Honey Island. |
| Doc | Ugh. There may have been a project left incomplete. Or maybe... his life's work. |
| Doc | Honey Island was just one bus and a swamp boat ride from our house in New Orleans. |
| Doc | I practically lived up there on weekends and summers. Dr. Lancaster was like a second father to me. The work was inspiring. A government-funded project to isolate the unique DNA sequences that make a Cryptid a Cryptid. The potential was limitless... |
| Doc | ...And sadly unrealized. We never finished, and then he was gone. |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Zak | Unfinished business? |
| Doc | No. We have living, breathing problems to worry about. We've lost too much ground to Argost. |
| Basil Lancaster | Argost, the answer. On Honey island. Finish it. |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Doc | Well. Now I'm at least intrigued. |
| Doc | Isn't it great? |
| Drew | When did they stop paying the gardener? |
| Doc | Government money was what kept this town alive. |
| Zak | Um, hey, Dad, you said you studied Cryptids here. Any, uh, up-close study sessions? |
| Doc | The Honey Island Swamp Monster. First Cryptid I ever tracked. Boy, this place brings back memories. Come on, I want to show you the lab! |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Zak | It's watching us. |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Zak | Fiskerton! Come on, let's go see what it's doing here. |
| Drew | Huh. The computer of the future, you say? |
| Doc | A T-fifteen hunder super processor. I built it myself from a kit. |
| Drew | Oh, you must have been the cutest little nerd in the whole computer club. |
| Drew | How are Lancaster's files? |
| Doc | They're incredible. He was even closer than I realized. Just a few key strands missing. Drew, I can finish this. Do you realize what this means? |
| Drew | You'll have to admit I was right about the EVP? |
| Doc | No... Maybe. We'll see. But this research, these same DNA sequences are the building blocks of every Cryptid on Earth, including Kur! Forget about stones, tombs, ancient artifacts. If this genetic map works, we can find Kur by its own DNA! |
| Drew | All right, scoot over. You got yourself a lab assistant. |
| Zak | Wait here. |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Zak | Let's go Fisk! |
| Zak | Yes. You were right about the alligators, okay? Just let me... |
| Zak | Let's go Fisk! |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Zak | Huh? |
| Zak | Let me try to connect with him. Calm him down. |
| Zak | Where did that much power come from? |
| [Act 2] | |
| Zak | Go! |
| Zak | Look out! Back! |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Zak | I don't know which way! |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Zak | Wait, Fisk, hammer throw, but straight up, as hard as you can. |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Zak | Yes, and catch me too! |
| Zak | That way! |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Zak | Okay... Oh, man. |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Drew | Ready for another batch! |
| Doc | That's nearly the last of them. We could be done within... |
| Drew | Zak? |
| Zak | We're okay. And just so you know, whatever happens in the next thirty seconds, it was completely not our fault. |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Doc | What did you do, Zak? |
| Drew | Well, that doesn't matter now. |
| Zak | Mom's right. It doesn't matter. |
| Drew | I said it doesn't matter -now-. |
| Doc | Everybody all right? |
| Zak | We're fine. |
| Doc | Good. Because I'd hate for sympathy to ruin all the wonderful punishments I'm planning if this really was your fault. |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled "His fault.] |
| Zak | Huh? |
| Drew | I counted at least six different Cryptid species in that group, all bipedal hominids, and they all just happened to be in the neighborhood. There may be something more going on here than just our boys causing trouble. |
| Zak | Like I said, completely not our fault. |
| Drew | Don't push your luck, kiddo. |
| Doc | Why would a group of Cryptids be making a coordinated attack? And why here? |
| Drew | I don't know, but there's somebody who knows more about this place than even you do. |
| Drew | Doc? |
| Doc | Most of what I know I learned from that man. If that's some part of him, I need to finish this. |
| Doc | Dr. Lancaster? Basil? If your protoplasmic floating goo is out there, I need to ask you... |
| Basil Lancaster | Argost, trying to stop. You have to finish, Solomon. Stop, Argost. Kur. |
| Doc | Zak, I'm half an hour away from something I've waited 30 years to see. Think you boys can build a strong enough barricade upstairs to buy us 30 minutes? |
| Zak | Oh, yeah, absolutely. |
| Drew | I'd like to run some data of my own on those Cryptids that attacked us. Can you handle the rest alone? |
| Doc | I'd actually like to. This... means a lot to me. |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Zak | What? Oh, sorry, I was just... |
| Zak | Think about it, Fisk. What has that EVP thing really said? Honey Island, finish it? He only mentioned Argost and Kur after Dad did. |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Zak | I think there's something else going on here. Come on, we've got to talk to Mom and Dad about it. |
| Zak | Huh..? |
| Zak | I knew it! All right, which one of you is Lancaster? Come on, I know you faked the ghost to bring my dad here. |
| Dr. Lee | I assure you, son, Dr. Lancaster has long departed. But thankfully for us, he left behind hours and hours of video. With a little creative editing, the man can say almost anything. |
| Basil Lancaster | Don't believe in ghosts, boy. |
| Dr. Lee | Oh, but I thought you had it all figured out, son. My colleagues and I are what remains of the Honey Island Project. Well, us and the Cryptids you met, the ones we built from the DNA on up. |
| Zak | What? That's not true. My dad wouldn't- |
| Dr. Lee | Oh, calm yourself, son. Your daddy never knew about the ugly side of our work. The Cryptid super soldiers, the government hired a Lancaster to make. When we lost Lancaster, they shut us down. We thought it was all over. And then 25 years go by and I see his little lab assistant up and on the TV. |
| Dr. Lee | So I called the boys and I said, Gentlemen, I believe there's still someone who can get that old machine running again. |
| Zak | Wait, what machine? |
| Dr. Lee | Now, I thought for sure you were smarter than that, son. I'm talking about the machine you're sitting at right now. |
| Drew | Doc, those Cryptids, there's a pattern here. |
| Doc | There's a pattern to all of them. |
| Doc | And we're going to see it once I enter this one last sequence. |
| Doc | So what did you find out? |
| Drew | Doc! |
| Doc | What? |
| Drew | Why does it say remote access authorized? |
| Doc | I'm locked out. Someone just hijacked my system. |
| Drew | Huh? Doc, the boys, they're gone. |
| Dr. Lee | Saturday's work is uploaded. Fire up the machine. |
| Zak | Hey! What? No! Let us out! |
| Drew | Zak, Fiskerton! Doc, what's going on here? |
| Doc | I don't know. You said you had a lead with the Cryptids. |
| Drew | Just a distribution pattern. An explosion of humanoid Cryptid sightings in the southern states over the past thirty years. Green Goon, Kitchifuni Creep, Bishopville Lizardman, but it doesn't explain why... |
| Drew | Oh, no. You said Lancaster's DNA project was the building blocks of all Cryptids. |
| Doc | You think Lancaster was actually building Cryptids? |
| Dr. Lee | Well, now, I wouldn't give the good doctor all the credit. Who are you? |
| Doc | I- I recognize them. They used to work here. Handymen, hired laborers. |
| Dr. Lee | Is that what Dr. Lancaster told you? |
| Drew | You're going to tell me where my boys are now. |
| Dr. Lee | Of course I am. But first, let's discuss compensation. Lancaster got us shut down before our hard work was rewarded. Now we got a machine with billions to whatever rogue general or petty dictator is in a bad mood. |
| Dr. Lee | You're going to have to load that machine onto your airship, then you're going to give us that airship. |
| Drew | And why would we do that? |
| Dr. Lee | Because we're the only ones who can turn your boy Zak and his little pets back to normal. |
| [Act 3] | |
| Drew | Zak? Boys, it's me. |
| Dr. Lee | Careful. There are three brains here in that space, all trying to work at once. You can see why he'd be a touch confused. |
| Doc | Fix this. |
| Dr. Lee | I told you I would, just as soon as you facilitate our departure. |
| Drew | Forget it. We can figure that machine out ourselves. |
| Doc | Drew, wait. If the machine gets damaged, the boys could be stuck that way forever! |
| Dr. Lee | Get back! We made you! You have to obey us! |
| Doc | This is our son! Please! We can help all of you! Just- |
| Doc | No! |
| Drew | Doc! Come on! |
| Drew | He was just here! |
| Doc | Over there! |
| Drew | Hold him still! I want to try to talk to him! |
| Doc | Huh? |
| Doc | Hey! I taught you that! |
| Drew | Zak! Fiskerton, Komodo! You know me! Look at me! You know me! |
| Zak | Mom? |
| Drew | Yes, Yes that's right, honey. It's your mom. And- |
| Drew | No, no, Zak. Zak, I'm still here. |
| Doc | Stay away from him. |
| Drew | No! He's my son! |
| Doc | He's not one of you. |
| Drew | His name is Zak Saturday, and you can't have him. You hear me? |
| Honey Island Swamp Monster | Zak Saturday... |
| Drew | Yes, yes, my son, Zak Saturday. |
| Honey Island Swamp Monster | Solomon... Solomon Saturday. |
| Doc | I'm Solomon Saturday. |
| Drew | Old playmate? |
| Doc | I've never seen him before now. |
| Honey Island Swamp Monster | Solomon. |
| Doc | Yes, that's me. |
| Honey Island Swamp Monster | Message. For Solomon. |
| Doc | The machine! |
| Doc | You left it. For us? |
| Dr. Lee | They wouldn't touch it. Don't ask me why I should have caused them enough pain thirty years ago. |
| Honey Island Swamp Monster | Fix. |
| Drew | Boys! |
| Doc | Zak! |
| Zak | Mom, Dad, those guys. They're the ones who made the EVP. It was a trick to- |
| Drew | Zak! It's okay. It's okay. We know. |
| Doc | Well, now! I can't believe I fell for a ghost story. |
| Drew | I can't believe the rational scientific explanation was actually right for once. Score one for you. |
| Doc | Are you all okay? |
| Zak | We're fine. Better than fine. You guys thought we were close before. We're DNA brothers now. |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Doc | It's okay. They're working for Dr. Lancaster. |
| Zak | Then he is alive! |
| Doc | No. But he did leave me a message. No ghosts this time. Just the machine. |
| Basil Lancaster | Solomon, if you're hearing this, then you know what I've done. What Honey Island was really about. I'm sorry, Solomon. My conscience knew it was wrong, but it took me too long to listen. |
| Basil Lancaster | I destroyed enough of our research to cripple the project, then fled to the bayou. My colleagues went into hiding, but I knew they'd never give up on our work. So I left Honey Island as it was, hoping if they ever tried to revive the project, they'd do it here, where my new friends would be waiting. Whatever this work means to you, Solomon. It needs to be destroyed. There must never be another machine like the one I built. |
| Basil Lancaster | You're the only legacy I'm proud of Sol. |
| Basil Lancaster | I hope you're a better man of science than I was... |
| Basil Lancaster | ...But I know, I know. You're a better man. |
| [Credits Play] |