secretsaturdays
The episode opens...
Argost Greetings and bienvenue.
Munya [Grunt]
Argost So nice to be back in my own cozy dungeon. I'm deeply sorry we, at V.V. Argost's Weird World, have been off the air so long, but I do hope your vacation was as rewarding as mine.
Argost Would you like to meet my reward?
Argost I told you I'd found a kind of map, boys and girls. Well, I followed that map... but the naughty map makers tricked me... there was no treasure in their secret tomb, only another clue, a painting of a woefully unattractive creature.
Argost Oh, endless questing, but happy day, children! After the struggle too horrible for your tender ears, Munya and I captured the beast.
Argost Ah, no peekies. Not until I know whether this savage grotesquery is indeed the prize I seek.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Argost And now a word of warning. Some poor, confused viewers may be feeling sorry for my new monster. I assure you the beast is well cared for as a guest in my home... but any fool who comes here on a misguided mission of liberation will not be so warmly received.
Argost Men have tried to break into Weird World before, but as they all tragically discovered. Weird World is the kind of home that breaks back.
[Intro Plays]
Zak Eh, it looks bigger on TV.
Doc This isn't a mission for jokes, Zak. Eleven years ago, your mother and I broke into Weird World, to get the Kur Stone back. We lost over half the membership of the Secret Scientist in that assault.
Zak I know the story, Dad. I was just trying to break the tension.
Drew Tension might be what keeps you alive, kiddo. You got to be on guard every second you're in there.
Doc If you can't take this seriously, I don't want you anywhere near this nightmare factory.
Zak Dad, I know. It's not some mystic rock this time. It's Fisk! I'm taking this seriously. And none of us are going home without it.
Doc All right, then. Let's talk about our infiltration-
Drew It's not like he doesn't know we're coming.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Argost I must confess, I always assumed your role on Team Saturday was as a kind of imbecile mascot. Such hidden depth in you...
Argost Manners!
Argost Perimeter alarm. Munya, it seems we are hosting the entire family. See to it that they receive a real "Weird World" welcome.
Argost You and I have a more important guest to wait for.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Drew On the show, it looked like Fisk was being held in some kind of dungeon. I don't remember one from last time, but I guess...
Zak Second basement, main hall, fourth door on the right, down one floor. There's a stone staircase on your left.
Zak I talked Uncle Doyle into getting me a model of Weird World for all the birthdays he missed.
Zak What? You're going to get mad about it now? When it's useful?
Doc Careful. Nothing we faced can prepare you for Weird World... There are things here I hoped I'd never see again. Things so horrible-
Zak What?
Doc Huh?
Zak Are you kidding me? You almost gave me a heart attack over a sheepdog?
Doc Look out!
Drew Komodo, no!
Zak What is that thing?
Drew I don't know. That's exactly the point. Don't trust anything in this mansion!
Zak I got it!
Zak Let's go!
Doc Zak, wait!
Drew Zak! Zak! Talk to me!
Zak Ugh. That-- wasn't on the model.
Doc This door is the exit. I remember it from last time!
Drew You don't think he's remodeled in eleven years?
Zak Everybody okay?
Zak Easy, Zon. I'm barely holding that thing back. It's pretty angry.
Drew Then let's not push our luck with another door.
Doc Let's go.
Doc Stay close. This house isn't done with us yet.
Drew Doc!
Zak Hey, Uncle Doyle!
Doyle Miniman. Oh, it's about time the rest of the rescue party showed up.
Zak How did you know?
Doyle Saw the new Weird World episode. No big secret who was growling behind that dungeon door.
Doc Uh-huh? So you were just hanging out, watching our archenemies TV show.
Doyle Hey, it's good TV! Oh, are we doubting Uncle Doyle's loyalties now?
Doc Not at all. If this really is Uncle Doyle and not another Weird World trick.
Zak Dad!
Doyle Are you serious?
Drew What, he's a clone? Pod Doyle? Since when is Argost capable of--
Doc We don't know what Argost is capable of. You don't think it's suspicious that Doyle just happens to run into us on Argost's home turf?
Doyle Whoa.
Doc Truce?
Doyle Done.
Doc Let's go.
Argost I assure you, my here suit behemoth, there's no need for panic.
Argost Why would I hurt the key to all my happiness?
Naga So you think you have found Kur?
Argost Ah, my dear, but that's what you're here to tell me.
[Act 2]
Argost Ahem. You said you could tell if this Fiskerton Phantom is really the all-powerful Cryptid Kur?
Naga I will never reveal my secrets until I know they will be safe!
Argost Dearest serpentine lady, how could anyone feel unsafe in Weird World?
Zak Huh?
Doyle Okay, that was dumb. We can't go running around all in a pack or too large a target. We need to split into teams of two. Smaller, quicker. I'll go with-
Doc No. That's how this place got us last time. We split up, and it picked us off one by one.
Zak But, Dad, it makes sense to...
Doc This family is staying together.
Doyle Then I'll race you to Fisk.
Drew Doyle, wait!
Doc No!
Zak Doyle!
Zak Doyle! He's okay.
Doyle Really? Ohh...
Drew Hold on. We'll get you out of there.
Doc What the...
Zak Hurry! He's getting closed in!
Doyle I'm still racing you to Fisk.
Zak Cool. We should storm this place again when we don't. I want to have someone to rescue. You know, so we can really take it all in.
Doc Zak.
Zak I know, but the jokes make me feel better. It's what I do.
Doc I'm not asking this for you, Zak. It's for me.
Zak Huh?
Doc Our last mission here was a fiasco. I blame myself for that. I just don't want it to happen again. Not to my own family.
Doc I don't think I could take that.
Doc I remember this noise. This noise is a bad noise.
Doc Run!
Zak Whoa!
Drew Doc!
Doc Drew!
Doc Drew! Zak! Argh!
Doc Should have upgraded to wireless cameras, Argost.
Drew Ah... Poison-tongued flashlight frogs? Really? Cutting back on your monster budget, Argost?
Zak Huh?
Zak Why does everything cool try to kill me! Whoa!
Argost My dear, there is a point where precaution becomes paranoia. Are you quite satisfied yet?
Naga I sense no trickery from V.V. Argost. We may begin.
Argost Splendid.
Doc Where are they?
Doc Get them out of there now!
Zak Knock- it- off!
Zak Okay, maybe one more time.
Drew Zak!
Zak Guys, I'm okay. I... Zon!
Zak Yeah, I'm glad you're okay, too.
Drew Zak, that's... the last piece of the Kur Stone.
Zak Mom, we have to go!
Drew Go! I'm right behind you!
Munya [Chuckling]
Doc No, no!
[Act 3]
Naga I hold a powerful relic derived from Kur's own essence. It glows in the presence of its master. Kur...
Argost [Laughing]
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Naga Oh, this is not Kur.
Argost Wwwhat!? Then explain what this was doing in Kur's tomb!
Naga [Gasp] You have captured a Lenurian. He is not Kur, but he can lead you to Kur!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doyle Whoa.
Doc Argost, I'm coming for you!
Argost Nyah! What?
Doyle Gorilla jailbreak.
Drew Doc? Doc?
Zak Fisk!
Zak Yes! I miss you so much! Don't ever, ever do that to me again!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Drew Doyle, we heard Doc yelling.
Doyle They fell down here, Doc and Argost.
Zak What?
Doc You took everything from me! You like making nightmares come true? Welcome to yours!
Zak Dad! Dad! We're okay! All of us! Fisk too! Doyle rescued him!
Doc Zak! Drew? It... It didn't happen again?
Doc No!
Argost [Laughing]
Doc We'll get him another time. If you're all safe, then it's over for now... We won.
Zak Dad...
Doc No, I don't care. I am not turning around to look at it. It's over. We won.
Doc Well, I'd have to call that a success.
Drew More than you know. Take a look at my souvenir photo.
Doc The complete Kur stone. You found Argost's last piece.
Drew Yeah, too late to beat him to the tomb of Kurr, obviously. But this snake woman really caught my eye.
Zak Nasty.
Drew Nothing about why Argost would have kidnapped Fiskerton, though. Did you see anything? Fiskerton? Doyle?
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doyle Guy's just a psychopath, I guess. Hey, Fisk, come here and tell me what a hero I am.
Doyle Hey, it's obvious this Lemurian stuff is news to you too. My mouth stays shut until you're ready to tell the family. Good?
Doc Doyle. I need to talk to you.
Doyle Are we really doing? I told you so's on this one, Professor. I mean, I am the one who found the missing-
Doc I want you to come back, with us.
Doyle Uh- You mean like a sleepover? Because if you're asking me to join the team, I'm pretty sure I already turned down that-
Doc Doyle. I'm asking you for help.
Doc And you just survived Weird World alone, for the second time. There are things you know, skills you have that I just don't.
Doyle Wow. This must be really hard for you to admit. Keep going.
Doc All I care about is protecting my family. If it'll help do that, I want you to train Zak to do the things you do.
Zak What?
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Drew Uh, not all the things you do.
Zak This is great! I'll be like your apprentice. No, sidekick. Partner.
Zak Fisk is a sidekick. So, what? You're gonna say yes, right?
Doyle Like I'm gonna say no now. Welcome to boot camp, Miniman.
Zak Yes!
[Credits Play]
v - e - d Transcripts
Season 1
The Kur Stone:Part One | The Kur Stone:Part Two | The Vengeance of Hibagon | The Ice Caverns of Ellef Ringnes | Guess Who's Going To Be Dinner | The King of Kumari Kandam | Van Rook's Apprentice | Twelve Hundred Degrees Fahrenheit | The Owlman Feeds at Midnight | The Swarm At The Edge Of Space | Eterno | Black Monday | Cryptid vs. Cryptid | The Underworld Bride | Ghost in the Machine | Something in the Water | Target: Fiskerton | Once More the Nightmare Factory | Curse of the Stolen Tiger | The Kur Guardian | Food of the Giants | The Atlas Pin | Paris is Melting | Where Lies the Engulfer | Shadows of Lemuria | Kur Rising
Season 2
Kur:Part One | Kur:Part Two | The Thousand Eyes of Ahuizotl | Into The Mouth of Darkness | The Legion of Garuda | The Return of Tsul 'Kalu | The Unblinking Eye | Life in the Underground | And Your Enemies Closer | War of the Cryptids
Special
T.G.I.S.