secretsaturdays
The episode opens...
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak No matter how many times you do this, it's still not funny.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Drew Uh, Fiskerton?
Fiskerton [Garbled "Bye bye"]
Zak How is this fair? I'm allowed to fight the world's most evil villains, but I can't stay up past nine thirty?
Drew Who said you're allowed to fight the world's most evil villains?
Zak And Fisk? How come he gets to do whatever he wants all night?
Doc You know why, Zak. Fiskerton is still a Cryptid. There'll always be a part of him that stays cat-like, and nocturnal, and we just have to let him have his nighttime prowl.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Cheechoo [Gasps]
[Intro Plays]
Zak Huh?
Drew Miranda! I, uh, I.. I thought you'd taken a break from the Secret Scientists after, you know, Abby... I mean, when she...
Miranda My sister works for Van Rook. You can say it. Believe me, I'd rather be elsewhere, but I take threats to my safety very seriously.
Drew Wait, what are you talking about?
Doc Doctor Beeman? What's-?
Beeman Dr. Cheechoo, Dr. Lawhorn, Dr. Grimes? What's the connection? Bedhead, question to you.
Zak What? Uh. They're all Secret Scientists?
Beeman ...In full-body casts, drinking O-positive milkshakes through an IV.
Zak Nasty.
Miranda Over the past three nights, three Secret Scientist labs were attacked. We're being targeted.
Doc Do we have any kind of lead? A description of the attacker, maybe?
Agent Epsilon I'm afraid we have more than that, Doctor Saturday.
Drew Agent Epsilon?
Zak Francis.
Agent Epsilon Dr. Cheechoo's security cameras photograph the latest attack. Poor image quality, but I'm sure you'll recognize the perpetrator.
Zak Fisk? No, No way. That's not him!
Beeman Ah, looks like Fuzzy Wuzzy's got an unfuzzy side.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Agent Epsilon Take him.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Hey! Leave him alone!
Drew Epsilon, please remind your people whose house this is, unless you want to have a few less of them.
Miranda Calm down, all of you. No one wants a fight.
Drew You all know Fiskerton. He's as vicious as a marshmallow.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Drew Well, I...
Miranda Lawhorn, Grimes, Cheechoo, the three Scientists who just happen to live closest to this home? Tell me there's another explanation.
Doyle Okay, I'm telling you. The big gorilla didn't do it.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Agent Epsilon That creature is a threat to everyone associated with your Secret Scientists. Sadly, myself included. I make it a policy to neutralize threats before they neutralize me.
Doc Well, I'm afraid I don't much care about your policies, Epsilon. If our friends are being attacked, we want to help catch whoever did it. But I promise, no one in my family is out to hurt anyone!
Zak Fisk! Come on, we're getting out of here.
Drew Zak!
Doc Let's go!
Drew Do not try this now, Epsilon. Those are my children up there!
Agent Epsilon Yes. And like all scared children, eventually they'll come home to Mommy and Daddy. So... we wait.
Zak Okay, Fisk, where'd you go prowling the past three nights?
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak What? You get to stay out all night and you can't even remember it? Oh, you're killing me, Fisk. What's that?
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Now there's a bone? What did you do last night, Fisk? One received text message. "The answers are in Paris, the Louvre Museum. See you soon, Zak."
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak I know you didn't, Fisk. It's obvious we're being set up for something. But if it's the only way to clear your name, I guess we're going to Paris.
Zak Okay. Nobody touches anything.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak I don't know where we're going. Just keep your eyes open for--
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Fisk! What?
Zak What was-?
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak No, I don't think they sent the text message.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak This whole place is going crazy, Fisk! I've never seen anything like... Oh, yes, I have. And I think I know whose phone that was.
Komodo Ah, Paris.
Zak The Mondays.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Monday Is that what you call us? Wanna know what he calls us?
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Monday Master.
[Act 2]
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Beeman I don't know what you're looking for. These eyes have spotted the UV signature of a Grax-ish Exploration Vessel. They don't miss detail.
Doc They missed this. See that glow? It's coming from Fiskerton's eyes. He's being controlled.
Beeman Maybe I noticed and didn't care.
Agent Epsilon That's Zak Saturday's power. He's making the creature do his dirty work. I admit I'm impressed.
Drew No, No wrong color. This is someone else's power. Someone who shouldn't even be in this dimension.
Zak This isn't possible. We sent your family back to the shadow world. The smoke mirror was broken. There's no way you could have crossed back to our dimension.
Komodo Obviously, the boy and I escaped. The others, not so lucky.
Monday You know the hardest part about saying goodbye to your family forever? Uh, nothing.
Komodo As for the smoke mirror, you simply must see the Louvre Museum's latest acquisition.
Zak The smoke mirror!
Komodo When I heard it had been recovered and restored, a plan formed in my gigantic brain.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Komodo Framing the Furry Cretin was merely phase one, a way to force you to come to us. Now we begin phase two, opening the gateway to our world to bring back our mighty airship.
Zak You've got an airship? Like ours?
Monday Yeah, um, way better than yours.
Komodo Ours is pure antimatter, an entire flying fortress of it. Everywhere we fly, reality will tear apart. The whole world will be in chaos. And best of all, you take the blame! No more Secret Sciencing. By the time we are through, the Saturdays will be the most wanted criminals on Earth.
Zak But that doesn't make any sense. What do you even get out of that?
Monday We get to ruin your lives. Isn't that enough?
Komodo Okay, off you go.
Zak Hey, what are you?
Monday What? You thought we were going back to that stink hole? Uh uh. You are.
Agent Epsilon A moment Saturdays. The rules of our encounter have not changed.
Drew Oh, cram it, Epsilon. You saw the same footage we did. Our sons are innocent and they're in trouble. Now move it or I move it for you!
Agent Epsilon Doctor Beeman, you're the expert. Alternate shadow dimensions?
Beeman Uh... They've been theorized, but evil clones are right up there with I got hypnotized on the bad sci-fi excuse chart. Tough call.
Doyle Okay, I'm canceling Debate Club.
Doc Into the airship.
Zak Huh? Forget it! I'm not going in there!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Komodo Oh, Nappy. What are you getting so noble about? You're the one who's going to make him do whatever we want.
Zak No!
Komodo If you do what we ask, you at least have a chance to stop us. Refuse, and your family's ruin starts now, as Zak sends your brothers to destroy all of Paris.
Zak Just stop it! Leave them alone! I'll do it! I'll get your airship!
Monday Man, you're predictable.
Komodo Don't lose the tether line. Trust me, you don't want to get stuck in our world.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Monday I get to destroy Paris anyway, right?
Komodo Of course.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Komodo Just be sure you're back before the Saturday, boy. He can't cross through the mirror without you!
Civilian [Screaming]
Doyle Got something. Newswire's lighting up all over France. Monster animals attacking Paris.
Doc Video just hit the satellites. I knew it. Zak Monday. They must have reached our dimension again.
Drew Doc? If Zak Monday is trashing Paris, where's our Zak?
Zak Aah! Whoa. That's why nobody wants to come back.
Zak Okay...
Zak Wow, that was easy.
Drew #2 Think so?
[Act 3]
Drew #2 Oh, a bit lost, aren't you, honey?
Doc #2 Bad copy.
Drew #2 Not that I'm upset by this. See, we've been waiting for revenge on your family, and gosh, we're happy to take it piece by piece. Start with the big pieces...
Zak Wait, revenge! That's what you guys are all about, right? But who would you rather have it on? Me or the two sellouts from your own family?
Doc #2 Don't care.
Drew #2 We're listening.
Zak Okay, I've got a plan, but if it's going to work, nobody but me can be on this airship. I'm the one whose double is on the other side of the mirror, so I'm the only one who can get through.
Drew #2 And why should we trust you?
Zak Would you trust Zak Monday?
Drew #2 Not a chance.
Zak Well, there you go.
Doc #2 Bad copy? Good point.
Monday We'll play more later. I gotta get back so your loser Saturday Zak can bring us our airship. Come on!
Drew Sorry, Komodo. I promise it was set on low!
Monday No! They're my toys!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doc You are going to take me to my son now!
Monday Ooh. You sure you really want to go there, Daddy?
Agent Epsilon Don't move. We saw everything.
Francis Are you still going to argue that this was a big misunderstanding?
Drew What? He's right here. You can see him.
Monday Ouch! Daddy, your hug is hurting me.
Doc I'll daddy you, you conniving little... Where's my son?!
Doyle Look at his hair. He doesn't even look like Zak.
Beeman Oh, switch to salt for the pepper. Could be hair dye.
Doc Oh, for the love of- Ah!
Doyle Get him!
Komodo Zak, where are you?
Komodo Both of you!
Zak All right, go time.
Drew Don't let him get away. He's the only link to finding our Zak!
Doc Take care of the city. We'll take care of the Mondays!
Civilian [Screaming]
Beeman Horse blaster stopped his momentum.
Miranda You could have caught him.
Beeman He smelled like tourist.
Doc Hurry, before they can take off!
Zak Wait, no! We have to let them go. Trust me.
Drew Zak, what are--
Doc That airship is pure anti-matter. Our world can't handle that much other-dimensional energy!
Zak Yeah, that's what they think, too. But I know something else about their airship. I drained their power cells before I crossed over.
Doc But they'll just get a recharge from the...
Zak The sun? And think about it, Dad. Our airship runs on sunlight, so...
Doc Theirs runs on darkness.
Zak It sure is a nice sunny day.
Komodo [Screaming]
Monday [Screaming]
Doc Nice!
Drew That's my boy!
Drew #2 That's my boy.
Zak This time we smash it to dust.
Civilian Wait. This this mirror is the property of the Musee de Louvre, and we have lost enough priceless artworks already today. Thank you,
Drew Monsieur. You don't understand. This mirror is filled with dark magic. A whole shadow world.
Civilian I am familiar with the mirror's folklore. We will take our chances.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Hey!
Miranda Doc. Drew, I am sorry. We didn't...
Drew You did what you thought you had to. I don't agree, but I do understand.
Doc You saved the family name, Zak. Looks like our work gets to stay secret a little longer.
Doyle Yep, just as long as nobody notices any of that.
Doc Oh.
Agent Epsilon Please allow me to take this one. My people have experience with cover-ups.
Reporter The illusionists and exotic animal trainers of Le Cirque Fantastique have apologized to the French government for the latest promotional stunt going wrong, a disaster that turned half of Paris into a bizarre fantasy.
Doc All right, Zak, it's getting late.
Zak Yeah, about that. I got to say, I'm pretty impressed with the way I handled our latest adventure. I mean, it's that kind of level-headed maturity that shows a boy is ready to stay up past nine thirty, right?
Doc Nine forty five.
Drew Nine forty five.
Zak All right.
Zak Come on, Fisk, let's go see what kind of damage we can do in fifteen minutes.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Komodo You, the nose-picking child on a school field trip. I need you to listen carefully and follow my every instruct-. Wait, where are you going? I command you to-
[Credits Play]
v - e - d Transcripts
Season 1
The Kur Stone:Part One | The Kur Stone:Part Two | The Vengeance of Hibagon | The Ice Caverns of Ellef Ringnes | Guess Who's Going To Be Dinner | The King of Kumari Kandam | Van Rook's Apprentice | Twelve Hundred Degrees Fahrenheit | The Owlman Feeds at Midnight | The Swarm At The Edge Of Space | Eterno | Black Monday | Cryptid vs. Cryptid | The Underworld Bride | Ghost in the Machine | Something in the Water | Target: Fiskerton | Once More the Nightmare Factory | Curse of the Stolen Tiger | The Kur Guardian | Food of the Giants | The Atlas Pin | Paris is Melting | Where Lies the Engulfer | Shadows of Lemuria | Kur Rising
Season 2
Kur:Part One | Kur:Part Two | The Thousand Eyes of Ahuizotl | Into The Mouth of Darkness | The Legion of Garuda | The Return of Tsul 'Kalu | The Unblinking Eye | Life in the Underground | And Your Enemies Closer | War of the Cryptids
Special
T.G.I.S.