secretsaturdays
The episode opens...
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Hey, you know the rules. Shock or be shocked. No mercy! Mwuhahaha!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Hey!
Zak You hid shock charges in your fur. That's just nasty!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Reflex disruptor jousting. Nicely played, Komodo.
Zak Hey, look out!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Fisk, Dad's back at the airship monitoring Cryptid activity, and Mom's off on a supply run. For the first time in months, no one's looking over our shoulders. It'd be wrong not to play with every dangerous experimental weapon we can find!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Okay, nice. I surrender.
Zak Now give back to the remote, guys.
Zak Come on, this isn't funny. If we don't put everything back the way we found it... Huh? Hey!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
[Intro Plays]
Zak Gah! Wait. Wadi?
Wadi Was the belt too much to steal? I feared it might give me away.
Zak What? Wait, how are you here?
Wadi I was told we were supposed to surprise you.
Zak Huh? Ah! Ulraj?
Ulraj This grip is called "the lobster's claw". I invented it.
Drew Happy birthday, kiddo.
Wadi Happy birthday.
Creepy Old Ian Happy birthday.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak You knew about this?
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Ohh Wow. That's a... Thanks, everybody. Um, can I get up now? Supply run, huh?
Drew Party guests are supplies. We just figured with all the running and hiding and, you know, being the embodiment of an all-powerful ancient Cryptid...
Doc We thought you might like to be a normal kid for a while. At least for one day.
Zak So a fish boy king and a thief girl are normal party guests?
Ulraj In my kingdom, this is how everyone wears them.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doc No.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Wadi I call it a thieves yo-yo. With it, I can defend myself, grab things from far away, even use it to pull myself up a steep surface.
Zak So basically, you made your own Claw?
Wadi Yes, but I mean, I was not trying to copy you.
Drew Zak, honey, can I talk to you? Just be a sec. Hey, birthday boy, can I give you some motherly advice?
Zak Sure. Hey!
Drew Hey, you don't have to flirt back, but you do have to be nice.
Zak Huh? Flirt? With who? Oh, wait, Waddy's flirting with me? How do you know?
Drew Zak, sweetie, under all this kick butt momness. I am a girl. We pay attention to these things. Of course, sometimes it's a little more obvious.
Ulraj As you can see, a king must be in top physical condition.
Wadi Yes, very... top.
Zak Show off.
Doc Yours too.
Drew We are not looking at Cryptopedias today. I mean, look how much fun he's having.
Creepy Old Ian Good form. Good show.
Drew Well. It can't hurt to pee.
Reporter Shocking footage from a Cape Town suburb today. What witnesses describe as grotesque animals of several unknown species have invaded the town, forcing residents to abandon entire blocks until authorities-
Doc I saw at least four different Cryptids in that footage. Couldn't make out a species, but... wow.
Drew But why were they all swarmed the same neighborhood? ...Is a question we can ask tomorrow, you know, when it's not Zak's nice normal birthday.
Doc What? Uh, good point... that is.
Zak Guys, it's okay. For one of my birthdays, this is pretty normal. Let's go.
Drew I can take the Griffin and drop off Wadi and Ulraj before-
Wadi No! I mean, I would rather go with you. Oh, all- all of you.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Ulraj Also coming.
Doc For a town supposedly overrun with grotesque animals, things are suspiciously quiet.
Zak There are definitely Cryptids here. Feels like we're being watched-
Ulraj
Zak What?
Wadi Zak!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Ulraj See? It's all in the nose.
Doc This is a calabus.
Drew What? How is it here?
[Act 2]
Zak Huh? Nice, um.. Yo-yo combat technique?
Ulraj You think the yo-yo trick is impressive? Watch this.
Ulraj Speechless. An even more impressive reaction than I'd hoped.
Zak You guys sounded surprised those Cryptids were here. Calypusses aren't South African?
Drew Not even African. They're native to the Euphrates riverbanks.
Doc We should take some fur samples, measure footprints. It's possible we've identified the wrong species.
Zak We'll scout around, see if we can spot some of those other Cryptids from the news footage. Come on, guys. And um, uh Wadi.
Drew Ooh, boy. Well, still smoother than your dad ever was.
Doc Hmm?
Drew Nothing, sweetie. Go back to collecting animal fur.
Ulraj Shark Sense isn't picking up anything nearby, but my range is limited. You should probably stand closer to me, Wadi.
Wadi I'm fine with the current distance.
Zak Uh. Hey guys, Fisk and I have to check something out alone.
Wadi What? Why would you?
Zak It's nothing. I mean, it's, you know, we just have to do this. I promise we'll be right back.
Wadi Zak, if there is danger, you should let your friends help you.
Zak Look, Wadi whatever boy-girl stuff is going on with you and me, this is pretty much the worst time ever, okay? I'll be right back.
Wadi If that is how you feel...
Zak Look, I'll apologize later, okay? Can we just hurry?
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Argost Do forgive me for interrupting young l'amour. Lovely girl. Does she know you have dealings with a major television celebrity?
Zak Our "dealings" are supposed to happen through your show. Why do you keep sneaking around and following me?
Argost You're a fine one to speak of sneaking around. Or is your dear uncle Doyle nosing about in my past, all on his own?
Zak Really bugs you, huh? Doyle must be getting close to something juicy.
Argost Actually, I have been sending you messages through Weird World, but you are obviously not watching.
Zak Can you blame me? It's not like your training's been outstanding so far.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Argost Uh, but today's lesson is essential. May I ask, what is the power of Kur?
Zak To influence Cryptids. Get them to follow him. Me.
Argost Just one Cryptid? A few? Perhaps even a gaggle?
Zak My mom and dad think Kur can build a Cryptid army.
Argost And have you never wondered exactly how Kur would control such an army? One that travels on land, sea and air across the entire globe?
Zak I... No, I guess I never.
Wadi Zak! More creatures! Come quickly!
Argost Well, it is something to think about, isn't it?
Zak Where are the...
Wadi Shh!
Doc Mom and Gwari, this just keeps making less sense.
Wadi Are they also from the Euphrates?
Drew South America and I'm pretty sure something that big didn't fly here.
Doc They're using guards? Lookouts? Something's turned these Cryptids into an organized force.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak It's not a Kur thing, I swear!
Zak Just hang on! I can calm him down!
Zak Whoa!
Drew Earthquakes?
Drew None of these Cryptids is capable of-
Doc High on your left!
Zak Wadi... what are you doing?
Wadi Does that supermarket seem unusual to anyone?
Zak I'm kind of busy!
Ulraj Now that I have rescued Zak, I have time. Show me the unusual market.
Wadi Why does it stay still when everything else is shaking? And why does this creature not join the fight with the others?
Zak That is weird. Let's go check it out.
Wadi Oh, I am sorry, but this is something Ulraj and I must do on our own. We would bring you along. But it is all bad timing you understand.
Wadi I believe I told you-
Ulraj Show off.
Wadi I do not see why it is okay for you to follow us when we could not follow you.
Zak Because I know Cryptids. I can protect you.
Wadi I do not need protecting.
Ulraj Zak! Wadi! Did I tell you I once composed an opera about tuna? I'm told it's wonderful.
Zak Huh?
Zak What are they doing?
Zak Don't! This is my job!
Wadi What is wrong with you, Zak Saturday? I thought you were trying to be normal. Normal people let their friends help them.
Zak Do I look like I'm allowed to be normal? Just let me do this and stay back.
Zak Okay, so let's stop all the earthquakes and talk about why everybody decided to take a South African vacation this year.
Wadi Go! Take the bait!
Ulraj Wadi!
Zak Huh?
Zak No!
Zak Ulraj! Try to hold them off while I get Sluggo here under control!
Ulraj Try to hold them off? Zak, I once tamed three sharks with a handful of kelp and a starfish. I think I can handle--
Wadi Huh? We're alive!
Zak We're buried alive.
[Act 3]
Wadi We have to reach the surface!
Zak Wadi, we don't even know which direction the surface is? If we try to dig, it's just gonna make it worse.
Wadi What about your claw? Call back the worm Cryptid.
Zak It's gone, Wadi. It It could be miles away already. I just don't know.
Wadi Your parents?
Zak Even if they know we're gone, why would they look underground?
Creepy Old Ian Then perhaps you would like to fix this by yourself.
Zak Guys, I'm sorry. Look, I never meant to be such a jerk. I just... My life's been even more dangerous lately, and if there's anybody I didn't want to see hurt, it's you.
Zak ...Two. You two. Both.
Ulraj Oh, please quit pretending you don't like each other. I don't even find her attractive.
Wadi What?
Zak What?
Ulraj I simply hate losing anything to Zak.
Zak I'm sorry I couldn't save you.
Wadi I'm sorry it wasn't a very good birthday party.
Ulraj And I'm sorry I can't breathe dirt.
Drew Happy birthday, kiddo!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doc We thought you might like to be a normal kid for a while. At least for one day.
Wadi Normal people let their friends help them.
Zak Do I look like I'm allowed to be normal?
Argost And have you never wondered exactly how Kur would control such an army? One that travels on land, sea, and air across the entire globe?
Zak I know you can hear me. Wherever you are, I need you. Please, I'm not your enemy. Please. Please.
Ulraj It came back. It saved us.
Wadi I thought your powers.
Zak Yeah, I think I just learned a new trick. Come on!
Ulraj An entire network of tunnels!
Zak I guess we know how the angry mob has been getting around. Wait, stop here for a second.
Wadi I do not think this is an angry mob.
Ulraj They are hiding. All these food supplies. This must be the reason they invaded that town. Not an army, a survival camp.
Wadi But what are they trying to survive?
Zak Me.
Zak Hey, yeah, I'm Kur. I get it. But listen, I know you're scared, but all of this, it isn't going to help. Look, humans are freaked out by Cryptids already and stealing food and causing earthquakes. It's just going to make things worse. I don't know what's gonna happen with this Kur thing either, but if we're gonna get through it, everybody's gonna have to work together, okay?
Wadi Ahem.
Zak Uh, right.
Doc The level of cooperation between different Cryptid species, it's unprecedented.
Zak I guess they know something big and bad is coming.
Zak I'll call you if I need you, I promise.
Ulraj And will you call us too?
Zak Huh?
Ulraj I mean, obviously you will be calling Wadi.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Hey, so, uh, down there when we, you know, thought we'd never see each other again.
Wadi It was a good party after all.
Wadi Happy birthday, Zak Saturday.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Drew So, I guess I'll be taking the party guests home then.
Doc Apparently.
Ulraj And I wish you a happy birthday as well.
Ulraj But the Wet William is a traditional gift in my culture.
Zak It's a Wet Willy. How can it be traditional if you don't even know what it's called?
Doc Good friends?
Zak The best.
Ulraj Same time next year.
Doc Good. Because if you boys ever touch the experimental weapons without permission again, you're gonna need a friend.
Zak Gah...
Doc Happy birthday.
Argost Why, the prodigal students doth return! Imagine my shock. Perhaps my lessons were of value, after all?
Zak This one was. Saved my life, actually. So, uh, thanks. I guess.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Argost Pish posh. The smile on your face is the only gratitude I need. It is, after all, your birthday.
Zak A neural parasite?
Argost Consider it an emergency contact. If, heaven forbid, you should find yourself in another crisis, this parasite, placed on the neck of a suitable victim, will provide you a direct line to me.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Don't these things only work over a limited range?
Argost Then I'll just have to stay close. Won't I?
[Credits Play]
v - e - d Transcripts
Season 1
The Kur Stone:Part One | The Kur Stone:Part Two | The Vengeance of Hibagon | The Ice Caverns of Ellef Ringnes | Guess Who's Going To Be Dinner | The King of Kumari Kandam | Van Rook's Apprentice | Twelve Hundred Degrees Fahrenheit | The Owlman Feeds at Midnight | The Swarm At The Edge Of Space | Eterno | Black Monday | Cryptid vs. Cryptid | The Underworld Bride | Ghost in the Machine | Something in the Water | Target: Fiskerton | Once More the Nightmare Factory | Curse of the Stolen Tiger | The Kur Guardian | Food of the Giants | The Atlas Pin | Paris is Melting | Where Lies the Engulfer | Shadows of Lemuria | Kur Rising
Season 2
Kur:Part One | Kur:Part Two | The Thousand Eyes of Ahuizotl | Into The Mouth of Darkness | The Legion of Garuda | The Return of Tsul 'Kalu | The Unblinking Eye | Life in the Underground | And Your Enemies Closer | War of the Cryptids
Special
T.G.I.S.