secretsaturdays
The episode opens...
Zak Despite the airship's thermal readings, there are no readings, there are no Chupacabra sightings as of yet, only these unidentified tracks.
Doc You hear that? It's coming from that clearing.
Zak Whoa! We found Bigfoot!
Zak And a Chupacabra!
Zak And the Chupacabra's... shiny, metal backpack?
Doc We should follow the Chupacabra. That's why we're here.
Zak But, Dad, Fiskerton just captured Bigfoot!
Shocksquatch Bigfoot?! Don't you watch the news?
Zak Of course we do. Ben Tennyson, it's an honor. I'm Zak Saturday.
[Intro Plays]
Zak I'm sorry about that. We thought you were Bigfoot.
Ben Yeah, I get that a lot. Well, Shocksquatch does.
Zak This is my Dad, Doc Saturday, and you've already met my brother, Fiskerton. We're big fans!
Ben Yeah, I can tell.
Doc We worked with your Grandpa Max a while back on a Cryptid-related matter.
Ben Oh, those Saturdays! You guys track down all those freaky animals.
Zak Cryptids, like Fisk here -- and like that Chupacabra that got away.
Ben Chupacabra? Come on, Chupacabras aren't real.
Zak Says the dude with the magic watch that turns him into aliens.
Ben Wha- magic? Science! Way more real than crypto-whatitses.
Doc Sorry, Ben, but these Chupacabras are Cryptids, and they're attacking Bellwood's alien population.
Ben We know. My partner and I have been tracking them for a week. This is the first time we actually caught up with one. Hopefully, Rook has caught it by now.
Rook I did not.
Rook Hello. You must be the Saturdays. Thank you for coming.
Ben Huh? You knew they were coming?
Rook Magister Tennyson called them due to their cryptozoological expertise. Although, I have made an extensive study of all life-forms on Earth, and I am certain that Chupacabras do not exist.
Zak That's because of us!
Doc It's our job to make sure Cryptids stay hidden for their own protection.
Rook That makes sense.
Ben It does? Am I the only sane one around here?
Zak Am I the only sane one around here? So, the Chupacabras took up sculpting?
Rook It's not a statue, Ben. It has a pulse.
Zak And this wound is consistent with the reports from the previous alien attacks.
Doc We'll take him up to the airship, see if we can cure him.
Zak The control room's down the hall, and that's the game room.
Ben Rook, we definitely need our own airship.
Rook We already have a spaceship, and an underground headquarters.
Ben And neither of them has a game room.
Zak Meet the rest of the family. Zon and Komodo Saturday.
Ben At least somebody knows how to treat a celebrity.
Zak This is the medical bay, and this, is my Mom.
Rook Nice to meet you.
Ben Um, yeah. Meeting you is the good.
Drew Oh... right back at ya.
Zak Dude, that's my Mom.
Ben Do Cryptids have any special powers, you know, like my aliens?
Zak Some do. I can show you more about them, but you can't tell my folks.
Ben You're not hiding the Loch Ness monster up here, are you? Cause that would be awe-!
Zak No way. We'd never take Nessie out of her natural habitat.
Ben
Rook Weird World?
Ben Oh, yeah, I remember that show! It had that dude in the creepy mask.
Zak V.V. Argost.
Ben Yeah, it was on against Sumo Slammers, so I never watched it.
Zak I never saw Sumo Slammers. It's too hard to catch up on TV when you're saving the world all the time.
Ben I know, right? And every time I'm just about to get past level twelve in !Sumo Slammers; World Tournament", some bonehead alien tries to destroy the universe or something.
Rook Yes, it must be difficult for you not being able to watch your favorite programs.
Ben He grew up on a farm... a very serious farm.
Doc No internal injuries. Organs are functional. He's just... a rock. What does that do?
Drew It's a potion made from Tibetan sea beads. It expels evil spirits.
Drew I know that look. Just because one remedy didn't work doesn't mean there's not a mystical solution.
Doc You keep applying your potions and elixirs while I try doing some science.
Argost Greetings and bienvenue. I am your host, V.V. Argost.
Rook Argost is gone, correct? Was it a Cryptid that destroyed him?
Zak Actually, it was me. Turns out he was really an evil yeti out to destroy humanity. I zapped him out of existence when he tried to combine my Kur power with antimatter from an alternate universe.
Ben Yeah, you lost me at "zapped”.
Zak Let's just say he was my nemesis, but he made an awesome TV show. This episode...
Doc There's been an attack at an alien grocery store.
Ben Oh, don't tell me.
Rook Mr. Baumann's.
Drew I'll stay behind and keep an eye on the lizard man.
Ben Whoa, whoa, don't be so hasty. Rook, you stay. We may need Zak's mom's medi... medi... uh. You know, what she's got.
Doc We should all go. These Chupacabras are dangerous.
Ben Right, no doubt.
Ben Cool! Does that turn you into anything?
Zak Trouble.
Doc Drew, you were right. The Chupacabras are draining that alien's life force.
Doc We're too late.
Baumann No, no! No, no, no!
Ben I won't trash your store this time, Mr. Baumann. I promise... that I'll try.
Baumann Do you know how long it took me to get live Aldebaran Beidafangs in stock? They don't grow on trees, you know.
Rook Actually, they do.
Baumann Not the point.
Baumann No!
Doc Not so fast!
Zak I feel you don't want to do this. Who's controlling you?
Doc Drew and I need to get the injured up to the airship.
Ben We'll get the Chupa-loopas!
Rook Chupacabras.
Ben Yeah, those!
Animo Welcome back, my children!
Animo Ah, ah, just enough. Our time has come.
Animo Welcome back, Mr. Argost!
Argost Ah. Greetings and bienvenue!
[Act 2]
Animo Do you know where you are?
Argost I'm reanimated, not deaf.
Animo It worked! Our plan is an unmitigated success!
Argost I seem to recall it being my plan. I gave you the blueprints for this machine before my unfortunate run-in with Zak Saturday.
Argost What is this?! I explicitly asked for a yeti body, not some collage of Cryptid parts.
Animo I took the liberty of making some modifications. I used the Chupacabras to drain the life force needed to power the machine. It's been a productive three years.
Argost Three years?! You were supposed to bring me back in a month! What was the hold-up, Mr. Animo?
Animo Ben Tennyson, and it's Doctor Animo!
Argost Yes, and I'm sure that came from an accredited university.
Argost Well, it has been a rude awakening. Run along now. I have one Zak Saturday to dispose of.
Animo With all due respect, I'd like to discuss the particulars of this partnership.
Animo I keep your life force full and vigorous, and in return, you help me find the world's most exotic animals for me to... improve...
Argost Put a pin in that one! I want to take my new body for a test-drive.
Animo Then you'll be needing this.
Zak I'm not picking up any Chupacabra thoughts.
Ben Telepathy... awesome!
Zak I used to be better at it before I destroyed Argost. I thought my powers were totally gone, but Mom says I have some sort of residual, mystical something or other.
Zak So, how does the Omnitrix work, anyway?
Ben Terrible, like it has it out for me.
Zak & Rook What kind of... alien... is that?!
Argost Zak Saturday?!
Zak Argost?! How is that even possible?!
Argost I can't believe my good fortune. You just saved me the annoyance of coming to find you!
Argost And you must be Mr. Tennyson.
Ben You know, your show seemed cool, and your new look is admittedly rad, but we're totally gonna have to kick your butt.
Zak It'll be fun to destroy you for the second time!
Argost Aw, don't you like the new me?
Argost I admit I was not taken with my new form at first... but it has grown on me!
Ben So I guess this means it's hero time!
Kickin' Hawk That was just the warm-up.
Zak ...Now it's time for the main event.
Zak Nice try!
Argost Nyah!
Animo Testing your new body in public was not the best idea!
Ben Argost is working with Animo?
Zak Animo?
Ben Mad scientist... likes to experiment on animals, strictly a B-grade villain.
Zak We can still catch them! Fisk can go from zero to sixty without breaking a sweat.
Ben Rook, we need a trike.
Rook You have a motorcycle.
Zak I'd trade the trike and the airship for some credit the next time I save the world. Every time I stop a Cryptid invasion, they say it's tornado damage or something.
Argost Careful, you're not darning a sock. This patchwork quilt you call a body clearly isn't strong enough to destroy Zak Saturday.
Animo Really, Mr. Argost. Men of our caliber needn't fight our own battles. It's beneath us... Voilá!
Animo And these are but the first. Together, we can locate enough creatures to build an army of Franken-Cryptids!
Argost But Cryptids are unpredictable. How do you know they won't turn on you?
Animo Sadly, I've had to resort to rather crude methods.
Animo This only works with the simplest of creatures such as these Chupacabras. All Tennyson has to do to beat me is destroy this Transmogrifier, but you, Mr. Argost, thanks to the residual powers of the anti-Kur, you can control them with but a thought.
Argost Prepare for battle!.
[Act 3]
Zak That's it!.
Zak There's definitely a Cryptid in there.
Rook I can use my proto tool to realign the tumblers. Oh, wait...
Rook ...they left the door unlocked.
Ben Welcome to Animo's lab, population zero. Looks like he took off.
Zak Argost's handwriting. Looks like he figured out how to bring himself back using the combined life force of Cryptids and aliens.
Rook But you said Argost was completely annihilated in a mystical particle/antiparticle reaction.
Zak Maybe the reaction created its own interference pattern, sending reverse waveforms back through the original conduits.
Rook Which would account for your restored telepathic powers, as well as Argost's resurrection via this device.
Ben Don't worry, big guy... I'm not getting any of this either.
Zak Ah, brilliant, Fisk! If we reverse the field polarity, it just might work!
Zak Guys, if they're gone, why am I still sensing a Cryptid in here?
Ben If you were Argost, where would you be?
Zak ...Attacking the airship!
Argost Don't let up! The Saturdays will go down in flames!
Zak We have to get up there to help Mom and Dad!
Drew No, you don't.
Doc We evacuated everyone before Argost made it to the ship.
Ben I'm so glad you're okay, Mrs. Saturday.
Zak Um, my Dad's okay, too.
Argost Morphs, forget the ship... attack!
Zak Let's do this again!
Drew Put him down, you hideous beast!
Argost My dear, do we really have to resort to name calling?
Zak Thanks, bro.
Argost Bonjour, Doc and Drew Saturday. What a coincidence running into you in this sleepy, little burgh.
Zak This is between us! Leave them alone!
Argost Very well.
Animo Ah, the world's only Fiskerton phantom. If I could cross you with an Owlman, it would be the bee's knees.
Animo Note to self... put knees on bees. Let's take him back to my lab!
Zak Unh!
Argost Any last words?
Zak You won't win! You look gross! And in the last season of your show, you totally phoned it in!
Zak Argost's body runs on the life force that was in the Chupacabras' canisters. If we can syphon the energy back out of them, it'll shut him down, and free the Cryptids.
Ben So you need an alien who can channel energy? I think I know just the guy.
Argost Oh, can't this wait? I'm about to finish off Zak Saturday... kind of my "raison d'etre".
Animo Sorry. That Fiskerton thing is proving very hard to capture.
Argost Did I stutter?! I said not now!
Animo After all I've done for you! I'm the scientific genius here!
Argost Oh, please. You can be replaced by a chimpanzee with a sewing machine.
Animo A pterosaur! What a splendid addition to my army!
Animo Not again!
Argost This tail does come in handy. What more can I ask for?
Feedback Eyes in the back of your head.
Argost I will have my revenge, Zak Saturday! This isn't over!
Feedback Sorry, dude, it kind of is.
Ben Reporters will be here soon, Zak. Ready for that limelight?
Zak Thanks, Ben. Much as I'd like the world to know what I do, our work has to stay secret. Animo's not the only one who wants to hurt Cryptids. I'd rather keep them safe than be a star.
Ben Well, it's been great saving the world with you.
Zak You too.
Ben And your Mom.
Zak Still my Mom, dude!
Zak Oh, one last thing. Picture with you as an alien?
Ben You bet.
Rook I do not understand human fascination with Ben's aliens. I am an alien after all as are all of the aliens in Undertown. In fact, to us, Earth is an alien planet.
Ben Relax, Rook. You're still my number-one partner. After Kevin. And Gwen.
Rook True enough.
[Credits Play]
v - e - d Transcripts
Season 1
The Kur Stone:Part One | The Kur Stone:Part Two | The Vengeance of Hibagon | The Ice Caverns of Ellef Ringnes | Guess Who's Going To Be Dinner | The King of Kumari Kandam | Van Rook's Apprentice | Twelve Hundred Degrees Fahrenheit | The Owlman Feeds at Midnight | The Swarm At The Edge Of Space | Eterno | Black Monday | Cryptid vs. Cryptid | The Underworld Bride | Ghost in the Machine | Something in the Water | Target: Fiskerton | Once More the Nightmare Factory | Curse of the Stolen Tiger | The Kur Guardian | Food of the Giants | The Atlas Pin | Paris is Melting | Where Lies the Engulfer | Shadows of Lemuria | Kur Rising
Season 2
Kur:Part One | Kur:Part Two | The Thousand Eyes of Ahuizotl | Into The Mouth of Darkness | The Legion of Garuda | The Return of Tsul 'Kalu | The Unblinking Eye | Life in the Underground | And Your Enemies Closer | War of the Cryptids
Special
T.G.I.S.