secretsaturdays
The episode opens...
Fiskerton [Garbled "Boop" x5]
Doc Fiskerton, you know that's not really how sonar works!
Zak Dad! Pretend-sonar is the only thing that keeps him from messing with the real controls. Can you just let him have that?
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doc Sorry I interrupted, Ensign Fiskerton. Let me know if sonar picks up anything.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doc And the real Sonar?
Zak Nothing. Are we sure there really is an Alkali Lake Monster?
Drew There has to be. It's all over our piece of the Kur Stone.
Drew It says the creature's horn is one of the keys to opening Kur's tomb. I only hope Argost didn't get here before-
Zak Aw, Fisk! Strap on some scuba gear and take it outside next time!
Fiskerton [Garbled "It wasn't me!"]
Doc We must be close. The Alkali Lake Monster is known for its pungent smell.
Drew Well, I guess it's good to be known for something.
Zak What, Komodo? You got something?
Zak Huh? How can you even see through all that black gunky-? Huh!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doc Yes, I see it, Fiskerton. Thank you.
Doc Huh? What in-? Van Rook...
Doc Rematch.
[Intro Plays]
Drew Van Rook and his apprentice must be back on Argost's payroll. We've got to stop them from getting that horn!
Doc My pleasure.
Van Rook We're in range. Give me a hand.
Apprentice Gotcha.
Apprentice What?
Doc I'll wrestle you for it.
Van Rook Dirty job... your job.
Apprentice And what's your job?
Van Rook Telling you what your job is. Be sure to get the grappling arm back!
Drew I'll get the horn. Just keep Van Rook and that other monster off me.
Drew And what do we think -we're- doing?
Zak Van Rook's sidekick knows me. I can talk to him!
Drew Yeah- you really think he'll listen?
Doc Absolutely not! You're having fun, Zak. He's ruthless, completely without morals. I don't want you anywhere near him.
Doc You have communication systems in the helmet!
Zak Heh! Um... I'll be careful - bye, Fisk!
Doc Zak!
Doc You should be fine with the lake monster. He doesn't seem to be interested in any of us right now.
Zak Do you think it's going to be all right without its horn?
Doc It came off so easily. I suspect it's like a shark's tooth. Yeah, there's likely another horn growing up from underneath, right- Fascinating.
Zak Dad!
Drew Doc!
Apprentice Don't even think about it.
Zak I never do.
Apprentice Oh, that's foul.
Zak I didn't think you had a problem working with slime.
Apprentice You want a mouthful of that stuff? Keep talking.
Zak Go ahead. Act like a bad guy. But you saved my life the last time we met. I know you wouldn't really hurt. Ow!
Apprentice Oh, looks like you don't know anything about me.
Zak Yeah, and you don't know anything about the horn you're looking for. Do you even know what Argost is after? The Kur Stone? Ultimate power? Armies of Cryptids in the streets? The guy wants to rule the world, maybe even destroy it! And you're gonna help him do that?
Apprentice I don't ask questions from the guy with the money.
Zak Yeah, well, maybe you should.
Zak Mom, no! I think I was getting through to him!
Drew Nyah!
Doc We're breached!
Van Rook Don't- scratch- the finish!
Drew [Gasps]
Zak Mom! Mom!
Drew What? What?
Zak Are you okay? You went all weird there for a second, and then you just let him go.
Drew I won't lose him again.
Doc I won't pretend this isn't personal.
Drew Doc, stop!
Doc What? Why?
Drew Because... I think he's my brother.
Apprentice What?
Doc Him?
Zak Cool!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak You think my secret uncle would teach me how to use those concussion grenades? Wait. He's missed elven birthdays! He should give me some concussion grenades!
Drew Okay, first, no. And second, I'm not 100% sure he is your uncle. I just--
Drew I mean, I always hoped. But I- I don't know how it's possible.
Doc Drew, I know how much you miss your family, but if this is your brother and he's working for Van Rook, helping Argost? Are you sure you want to know that?
Drew I have to know, Doc. I can't explain it, but when that mask came off, it was like I was looking at my dad's face again.
Apprentice Come on, Van Rook. I've been in your head long enough to figure out a simple password. What's-? Oh You've got to be kidding me...
Apprentice Okay? Let's see that client list.
Drew Thanks, Fiskerton.
Zak I made it.
Zak So do I have an uncle apprentice?
Drew His name is Doyle, and I think so. They changed his last name somewhere along the line, but- everything else fits.
Zak How come I never heard about him before now? What happened?
Drew Well, it's not a happy memory, kiddo. To be honest, there's not much of a memory at all. The mind can block out a lot of things it doesn't like.
Drew We were such a happy family. We went everywhere together, saw just about the whole world.
Drew We were in the Himalayas when it happened.
Drew It was all... so fast.
Drew And then my parents were gone. I tried to find Doyle for years. The Tibetan monks who took me in, the ones who gave me my fire sword, they all tried. I thought it was hopeless!
Drew Doyle?
Doyle You know my name. So it's true then.
Drew I don't know what to believe, but everything I've seen points to-
Doyle Yeah, sorry to interrupt, but we're going to have to play catch up later. If you really are my sister. I could use some help. I think I got myself into trouble.
Drew Huh?
[Act 2]
Doc He wants you to meet him and he chose the location in the middle of the night.
Drew He said he was in trouble.
Doc And that doesn't make you suspicious?
Drew Of course it does. I've set traps less obvious than that, but I need to know for myself.
Doc I'm coming with you.
Zak Me too.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Drew No, no. If it's a trap, we'd all be walking into it.
Zak Doyle's family, right? So shouldn't we trust him?
Doc It's not that simple, Zak. Whether he's your uncle or not, he's still Van Rook's apprentice. But I do trust your mother.
Doc Take this video phone if you suspect anything. Don't try to be a hero!
Drew When have I ever done anything rash or irresponsible?
Doc I keep a list. It's alphabetized. Do you want me to start with the Algerian sea centipede or the Zorastrian Pit of Darkness?
Drew Hmm. I'll be back soon.
Zak Stay with Dad, Komodo.
Zak All right, you can come. Just keep it quiet, okay?
Zak Huh?
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak You can tattle or you can come along... Huh?
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak There will be no potty breaks.
Doyle You always come armed to a family reunion?
Drew You said you needed help. I assumed it was the kind you'd want a sword for.
Doyle I was so little when it happened. I thought I'd made you up. I never really had a sister.
Drew Doyle...
Drew What was that?
Doyle I lost him. I know I did.
Drew Lost whom?
Drew Argost!
Argost Oh, my! Conspiring with the enemy? Betrayal! Chicanery! Heavens, the drama! Truly, I should be disappointed in both of you.
Doyle Told you I was in trouble.
Argost Oh, but how can I stay upset when you're giving me a chance to watch my flesh-eating black flies do what nature made them for?
Argost Oh!
Drew I told you to stay home. What are you doing here?
Zak Backup?
Doyle And?
Drew If you knew anything about this-!
Doyle Does it look like it?
Zak Mom?
Argost Now, children, didn't mother warn you? You play with fire, get firecracker beetles!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Get me in there, Zon!
Zak I don't know if I should be impressed or disgusted.
Argost Ngh! -What?
Drew Doyle, whatever you've got, use it now!
Argost Mega-tooth shark skin! And so stylish.
Drew If you held back at all!
Doyle You still think this is a setup? What kind of evil mastermind do you think I am?
Doc Oh. Zak, come see this! Zak?
Doc I have got to get rid of the supply closet on that airship.
[Act 3]
Van Rook Home alone while the missus is out on an adventure?
Doc You tell your apprentice - if anything happens to her!
Van Rook Munya, the horn!
Doc You want this? You take it!
Drew Tell me what's going on here, Doyle!
Doyle Hey, could you maybe trust me for like five minutes?
Argost If you were the trustworthy sort, I wouldn't be here, would I?
Zak Leave my family alone!
Argost [Screaming]
Zak Zon, down! No, down!
Drew Zak, no!
Doyle I got this one.
Drew Doc!
Doc Drew, you're still alive.
Drew What's go--
Doc It was all a setup. They were just trying to lure us away so they could get the horn. Get back!-
Drew Doc!
Argost [Screaming]
Doyle So, believe me now?
Zak Mom!
Drew This was all just a diversion? Just part of the job? You lied to me! You put my whole family in danger!
Zak Mom, whatever you think happened-
Drew In the airship, Zak, now.
Zak But-
Drew Now!
Drew I believe you're my brother, but I wish you weren't.
Van Rook Eh. I'm getting bored, Doc. Isn't it time to give up yet?
Doc Absolutely. And I accept your surrender.
Van Rook Go ahead. You've earned it.
Doc Huh! [Screaming]
Van Rook Let's go. I've got a bill to collect.
Drew You know, darling, I really think you've got this rescue concept backwards.
Doc Well, I hope you don't mind. I ordered takeout. I know it's my night to cook, but-
Drew You don't have to avoid the subject. You can say I told you so. Argost has the Alkali horn. He's even closer to finding Kur now, and it's my fault for trusting-
Doc I'm sorry your brother wasn't who you thought he was.
Zak Uncle Doyle!
Doc Zak, get over here.
Zak But, Dad!
Drew I thought I was pretty clear with you.
Doyle See this helmet? Van Rook gave it to me. Never mentioned this feature. He's been bugging all my communications. That's how Argost knew that I'd be with you and that Doc would be here alone.
Drew Oh, please. You came all the way here to try that lame excuse?
Doyle You know what? Forget it.
Zak Come on, Doyle.
Drew Zak, get away from him.
Zak Give him another chance. We've all made mistakes, but we have to forgive each other. That's part of being a family.
Doyle I didn't come here to make excuses. I came here because I thought you might want to know why Argost was after me in the first place.
Zak Wait, is that another piece of the Kur Stone?
Drew You took this from Argost?
Doyle I decided to do some research on the guy who was paying me. Turns out he's got a few ideas I'm not so big on.
Zak Hey, Dad, didn't you guys need like fifty Secret Scientists to break into Weird World last time?
Doc You know, there were two pieces we didn't have.
Doyle Things got... hectic.
Zak I can't believe you beat Argost.
Doyle I escaped Argost, but I'll take that for now.
Drew Dad always had a flair for the dramatic too. It's- it's good to have you back.
Doyle So if you're looking for help stopping Argost, I'm available. For a reasonable hourly rate. I'm kind of out of a job.
Doc You expect us to pay you?
Doyle And I need a place to crash.
Doc What?
Zak You can stay in my room! Come on. I'll show you where to put your stuff.
Drew Well, I better get him some food.
Doc Wait- What?
[Credits Play]
v - e - d Transcripts
Season 1
The Kur Stone:Part One | The Kur Stone:Part Two | The Vengeance of Hibagon | The Ice Caverns of Ellef Ringnes | Guess Who's Going To Be Dinner | The King of Kumari Kandam | Van Rook's Apprentice | Twelve Hundred Degrees Fahrenheit | The Owlman Feeds at Midnight | The Swarm At The Edge Of Space | Eterno | Black Monday | Cryptid vs. Cryptid | The Underworld Bride | Ghost in the Machine | Something in the Water | Target: Fiskerton | Once More the Nightmare Factory | Curse of the Stolen Tiger | The Kur Guardian | Food of the Giants | The Atlas Pin | Paris is Melting | Where Lies the Engulfer | Shadows of Lemuria | Kur Rising
Season 2
Kur:Part One | Kur:Part Two | The Thousand Eyes of Ahuizotl | Into The Mouth of Darkness | The Legion of Garuda | The Return of Tsul 'Kalu | The Unblinking Eye | Life in the Underground | And Your Enemies Closer | War of the Cryptids
Special
T.G.I.S.