secretsaturdays
The episode opens...
Zak No, see, he doesn't want one of each. He wants one quarter mango, one quarter apple, and half pistachio. He was very specific.
Vendor And all on the same plate?
Zak Yes, but they can't touch. He hates it when the flavors mix.
Vendor Of course we cannot have that.
Zak I know he's picky, but...
Zak No, wait. The ground cardamom goes on the apple, pistachio nuts on the pistachio. He was very...
Vendor Yes, very specific.
Civilian Sandeep, we cannot hear the television.
Zak Good. Just a little more. More More okay, too much.
Zak Can you, like, brush it off or something?
Vendor Maybe your brother would like to come make his own order!
Zak No, really. He wanted me to...
Vendor I am being very specific.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Civilian Oh, no! Monster!
Zak No, no, he's...
Civilian It wants to eat us!
Zak Hey, get off my brother!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Uh-oh.
Vendor What? Uh-oh. What is "uh-oh"?
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Um, Fisk?
Zak I don't think our allowance is gonna cover this.
[Intro Plays]
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Mom and dad are gonna believe we didn't start this, right?
Henchman Do not worry, my friend. This will cover the damages.
Zak Um, not that we're not grateful, but you just give away money?
Henchman Ah, what I'm giving is an opportunity. A creature who fights so well could make his master a great deal more money than that.
Zak What do you mean? Huh?
Zak Oh, I'm going to be sick.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Drew It's barbaric.
Doc He just gave you this and left?
Zak Yeah, not even a business card.
Doc He didn't need one.
Doc GPS coordinates. I don't imagine this is the kind of business where you give your name and number.
Drew I'll bet.
Drew Who would do something like this?
Zak Wait, go back.
Drew Huh?
Zak That's who.
Drew Van Rook.
Doc Nice eye.
Zak Okay, we've got a location and a bad guy. Let's go bust this up.
Doc Hold on.
Drew Hold on? Doc, he's making Cryptids fight for money. What would we be holding on for?
Doc This isn't how Van Rook operates. Yes, there's money to be made, but with the cost of capturing Cryptids? Caging them for fights? Somebody else is backing this.
Drew Argost.
Doc I don't know anyone else with that kind of money, and access to Cryptids, other than me.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doc No, of course not.
Drew Hmm. How does this get Argost closer to finding Kur? I-I don't see it.
Doc Neither do I. But we need to find out. Maybe Fiskerton should accept that invitation.
Zak What? No way. I'm not letting Fisk get beat up in some sick fighting contest just for a little information.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doc It's not just information, Zak. If it looks like we're on to him, we may even be able to flush Argost into the open. We catch him, and we end this whole thing.
Zak But Van Rook knows me and Fisk. You don't think he'd be suspicious if we tried to sign up?
Drew Actually, there might be a way if we brought in the right help.
Doc No, not a chance. Don't even mention his name.
Baron Finster Doyle Blackwell!
Baron Finster I should have finished you off last time, but it seems fate has given me a do-over!
Doyle You got Doyle.
Doc And I'm thrilled...
Doyle Haha. Look who's come crawling back.
Doc One mission. And if it weren't important...
Doyle Ah, Professor, you admitted it's important. Now I know to ask for the big money.
Zak Hey, Doyle.
Doyle mini-man and the Gorilla!
Doyle So, what am I getting paid for?
Van Rook My old apprentice!
Van Rook I thought you joined the sweetheart feel good cookie club.
Doyle If your Intel is still any good, you know that ended badly.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doyle This is payback. Figured I might as well make some money at it.
Van Rook I don't buy it. Take the giant monkey and leave all you can.
Civilian [Boos]
Civilian Oh, monkey!
Doyle Sounds like they want to see the monkey fight. Am I right, people?
Van Rook No! This is my competition!
Doyle And you won't let a superstar like this guy play the game?
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doyle What is this? A fixed fight? Huh? You rigged the whole competition?
Doyle Maybe everybody here deserves a refund!
Van Rook There will be no refunds! The big monkey fights!
Zak The sooner we find out what Argost is up to, the sooner we get Fisk out of there.
Van Rook Nice work. I'll take it from here.
[Act 2]
Van Rook There is only one room. Winner holds the floor. The more challengers your beast defeats, the more money he earns for you.
Doyle Don't sweat it, champ. I've seen you fight. You can take anything these lightweights throw at you.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doyle Whoa.
Fiskerton [Garbled "Handshake" then screaming]
Doyle Eugh...
Doc No alarms. Let's get started.
Zak Not yet. I want to know how Fisk is doing.
Doyle He's... doing great. I'll call you back.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doyle Hey, what are you doing? This isn't the Gentleman's Sunday Boxing Club!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doyle You know everything your mom and dad taught you about good sportsmanship and playing fair?
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doyle Do the opposite.
Fiskerton [Garbled roar]
Doc All right, let's get some reconnaissance. CP photos of everyone. Don't assume anything based on appearance. Argost has used disguises before.
Drew He's used neural parasites too. Could be controlling somebody remotely. Check the back of the neck.
Zak Could we just get moving? The longer we leave Fisk in there, the more trouble he could be in.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doyle Nice going. Now hold the floor.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doyle Anything yet?
Doc Nothing helpful. I've run the photos through every criminal database I can find. But all I get is the kind of low-level thug you'd expect at something like this.
Drew Still no Argost to Kur connection.
Zak Then let's get Fisk out of there. He's been lucky so far, but-
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doyle Yeah, he heard that one. Listen, there's one more thing. Van Rook's been working on some kind of digital handheld. That guy's the most detailed record keeper I know. If Argost really is behind this, Van Rook would have something on it in there.
Doc Can you get it from him?
Doyle Not alone.
Doyle Hey, you trying to cheat me?
Van Rook What?
Doyle Don't play dumb. The chupacabra fight. Where's the rest of my winnings, huh?
Van Rook The chupacabra was such a punicly deed. Half size, half pay.
Van Rook And if you ever push me again, you won't be able to use those fingers for counting money! ...Apprentice.
Van Rook They took it. So now we begin the end game.
Doc I'm in. The files are all scrambled.
Drew It figures. High-end encryption is the one thing he will pay for. We can crack it, but it'll take time.
Doc Zak, Doyle, what's going on?
Zak The floor in the fight cage. It's opening.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doyle Fiskerton, get out of there!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Van Rook I must confess to our fighting fans. I have held one Cryptid back from you, waiting for a champion worthy to face it... I think we have found one.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Get him out of there, Doyle!
Doyle How much time do you need to crack the code?
Doc Five minutes.
Doyle Get down there and fight, you mangy freak!
Zak No!
[Act 3]
Zak Guys, we've already got Van Rook's handheld. Get Fisk out of there.
Doyle We can't. The second Van Rook realizes we've got it, he'll stick every thug in this temple on us.
Drew Zak, I promise we will shut this place down and send every one of these psychopaths to prison just as soon as-
Doc Argost, right there.
Drew We've got something.
Doc Just two more minutes and we'll have it all.
Doyle Give me two more minutes, Fuzz Man, come on! Dig deep! You can do this!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Come on, Fisk! Please just be okay!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Van Rook Dryk! Finish the big monkey!
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak Yeah!
Zak No...
Zak That's it! Get him out!
Doyle Drew, I've got to pull him!
Drew There. Kur, it's connected.
Doc Almost cracked. Give us 30 seconds.
Zak He's not gonna last 30 seconds. We have to...
Drew Zak!
Doc What's going on?
Zak My power's so intense! I feel all of them!
Zak It - hurts!
Doyle Zak!
Doyle He just jumped into the crowd!
Doc Let's go!
Zak Everybody out!
Van Rook Of course, if a little boy says so.
Zak I wasn't talking to you!
Van Rook Huh?
Drew Zak! Zak
Doc Are you all right?
Zak I'm fine. Just help me get these Cryptids out of here.
Van Rook No! The creatures are mine!
Doyle I dreamed of this fight.
Doyle ...Every miserable second. I work for you.
Doyle Ugh.
Doyle Huh. Dreams really do come true.
Zak It's not safe here.
Zak Please, I'm not leaving any Cryptids behind.
Argost Cozy. A very large bonus to Van Rook for his surprising competence this time. And, of course, a special thank you to young Mr. Saturday for removing the final Cryptid obstacle.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doc I've heard that sound before.
Doc The alkali horn! Zak. Something happened in there with your powers. What was it?
Zak It was weird, like like when we were on Ellef Ringnes. A power boost, like from a mystic hotspot.
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Zak But even bigger. There's way more mystic energy here. Why would there be...
Drew The map from the Alemans tunnel system. I didn't even think to look before.
Drew The mouth of water...
Drew The three watchmen, which means the tomb of Kur is...
Doc Back inside! Move.
Argost Please don't exert yourself, Munya, before the breath of Kur, the sentinels will fall.
Doc Keep moving!
Argost You may prefer to stand behind the Cherufe's Volcanic Nesting Crystal
Argost Tomb of Kur...
Argost Please, my moment.
Argost How spectacularly intriguing. Munya, I require your "esprit de brute force". I want that wall!
Zak We're too late.
Doc Mongolian death worm venom. Argost was already here, and whatever he found, he took it with him.
Doc All that for nothing?
Fiskerton [Garbled]
Doc No, it wasn't for nothing. We saved Cryptids today. At least one of us remembered what our job's supposed to be.
Doc The retina scans?
Drew Already sent to the local police, along with a tip on a slightly bigger fish.
Van Rook Argh.
Doc Oh. So we keep going. If Argost had found Kur, we'd be fighting him already. Whatever he did find, I'm sure we'll have to deal with it soon enough...
[Credits Play]
v - e - d Transcripts
Season 1
The Kur Stone:Part One | The Kur Stone:Part Two | The Vengeance of Hibagon | The Ice Caverns of Ellef Ringnes | Guess Who's Going To Be Dinner | The King of Kumari Kandam | Van Rook's Apprentice | Twelve Hundred Degrees Fahrenheit | The Owlman Feeds at Midnight | The Swarm At The Edge Of Space | Eterno | Black Monday | Cryptid vs. Cryptid | The Underworld Bride | Ghost in the Machine | Something in the Water | Target: Fiskerton | Once More the Nightmare Factory | Curse of the Stolen Tiger | The Kur Guardian | Food of the Giants | The Atlas Pin | Paris is Melting | Where Lies the Engulfer | Shadows of Lemuria | Kur Rising
Season 2
Kur:Part One | Kur:Part Two | The Thousand Eyes of Ahuizotl | Into The Mouth of Darkness | The Legion of Garuda | The Return of Tsul 'Kalu | The Unblinking Eye | Life in the Underground | And Your Enemies Closer | War of the Cryptids
Special
T.G.I.S.