| The episode opens... | |
| Wadi | Ah! |
|---|---|
| [Intro Plays] | |
| Reporter #1 | |
| Reporter #2 | The water has mysteriously crystallized, completely dried up, as it has in so many locations across the Middle East. |
| Doc | Whatever's happening, it's localized so far, but we can't expect that to last. |
| Cheechoo | If this crystallization hits a river, feeds into our oceans, we could be looking at an entire planet without water. Tell me somebody's got an idea here. |
| Doc | Shouldn't you be paying attention to your driving? |
| Zak | Don't worry, Dad. She's got backup on this mission. |
| Doc | Now, Zak, you know you're not really on this- You haven't told him? |
| Drew | I... Well, the timing hasn't been... No. |
| Zak | Wait, tell me what? |
| Doc | Ugh. |
| Drew | Zak, honey, your father and I feel you've gotten a little, well, reckless. |
| Zak | What? |
| Doc | Breaking into the cortex disruptors, stowing away, going off plan... |
| Zak | Off plan? Is this all about "Uncle Doyle's bad influence"? |
| Drew | It's about a lot of things, Zak. We're afraid we've given you too much leeway, tried to make you grow up too fast. You're still a child. |
| Zak | So that means I'm useless? |
| Doc | It means- your mother and I are running the show for now. And you, well, you're in the audience for a little while. |
| Zak | The audience? |
| Drew | Zak, I'm sorry, but I cannot have this conversation right now. Doc, we've hit the territory. I'll call you back, but I've got something. Kisses. Mwah! |
| Zak | If I don't get to be part of the mission, why am I even here? |
| Drew | It's a good cultural experience. |
| Drew | Huh? |
| Maboul | I apologize for our enthusiastic greeting, but we, Hassi, have been on high alert since this crisis began. |
| Drew | With good reason, my friend. It's why I came to see you. No one knows water like the Hassi, and I need your counsel. |
| Maboul | Of course, but only over tea. |
| Maboul | I apologize, young one, but the Hassi do not allow children in our private discussions. |
| Zak | Children? |
| Drew | Zak! I'll find you if I need you. |
| Zak | Ugh, fine. Hmm? |
| Drew | And no driving the DRV! |
| Zak | Come on, guys! We're in the open desert with no supervision. I guarantee I can find us some fun in five seconds or less! |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled counting] |
| Zak | |
| Zak | Hey! Fisk! Bank left! |
| Zak | All right, all right, enough style points! |
| Wadi | Hello? Are... Are you all right? |
| Zak | Fine, thanks. |
| Wadi | I... I didn't mean to. |
| Zak | Relax, relax. Just give us back what you stole and we'll call it even. |
| Wadi | Stole? You must be mistaken. I didn't take your... uh? This? |
| Zak | It's an MVP. |
| Zak | ...Mobile video phone? Why would you steal something if you don't know what it is? |
| Wadi | I see it. I like it. I take it. Why is this complicated for you? |
| Zak | Hey, stop that! |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled laughing] |
| Zak | Komodo. |
| Zak | Whoa, whoa, I didn't say eat her! |
| Zak | Look, nobody's gonna hurt you. We're just killing time while our mom talks to your people about this dried-up water thing. |
| Wadi | What? But why would I-- I mean, any of my people have done this very bad thing? |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Zak | Is there something you'd like to tell us? |
| Wadi | Why would you think-- |
| Zak | The dragon is still very hungry. |
| Wadi | Follow me. |
| Drew | This is Maboul, leader of the Hassi and an old dear friend. |
| Cheechoo | The Hassi? Guardians of the underground Mother River, the supposed source of all water on Earth? |
| Drew | I'm confident you're keeping the river very well protected. |
| Pachacutec | Any Hassi would give his life before revealing the location of the Mother River. |
| Drew | But we hoped you might have insight into the cause of this drought. |
| Maboul | All we have are rumors. Every man and child seems to have a more fantastic story. My own daughter, Wadi, claims she started this disaster when she-- |
| Wadi | Put the crystal in the water, right here. |
| Zak | Wow. I really expected a better story than that. |
| Wadi | You don't believe me? |
| Zak | Ha, no! Why wouldn't I believe that a little girl and her magic crystal turned half of the water in the Middle East into salt? |
| Wadi | I didn't say I did that. I put the crystal in the water. The sea started turning to salt, and then the salt man broke out and he- |
| Zak | Wait, wait! Now there's a salt man? I take back what I said about the story. So what happened next? He as-salt-ted you? |
| Wadi | You think I am a joke? You're no different from my father. He wouldn't believe me either. Just because I'm a child. |
| Zak | Look... um? Thief girl. |
| Wadi | Wadi. |
| Zak | Wadi. I'm Zak. So, where did you say you found this crystal? |
| Maboul | Brother, what is happening? |
| Eterno | Wa...-Water... |
| [Act 2] | |
| Wadi | The crystal was right there. |
| Zak | Whoa, it does look like salt. |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Wadi | You see, I am a thief, not a liar. |
| Zak | What is it, Komodo? |
| Zak | What's-? Whoa, nice find. |
| Zak | Can you read this? |
| Wadi | Yes, it is very close to the language of the Hassi. It speaks of a warrior king from an age-long past. His thirst for power could not be quenched by conquering nations. He knew that only water equals power. And so he sought the greatest power of all, the Methuselah tree, a plant whose sap is said to be the fountain of all water on Earth. |
| Wadi | As the warrior king sailed across the Dead Sea, the protectors of the tree caused a violent earthquake, entombing him in the salty seabed. There, his body would be kept alive by the salt forever, his undying thirst an eternal reminder of the price of greed. |
| Zak | So you think this warrior king is what you saw rise from the sea? |
| Wadi | Ab-salt-utely. |
| Zak | Nice try. Come on, let's get that scroll back to your camp. |
| Wadi | Why? |
| Zak | What? You don't want to show everybody the huge, important evidence that the "children" found? |
| Zak | Ah! What the? Mom... Mom! |
| Wadi | Father! |
| Zak | Mom, what if... Are you okay? Can you hear me? |
| Zak | Fisk, be careful! |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled grunt] |
| Zak | That one just moved. Are you all right? Can you speak? |
| Wadi | Zak, no, the salt man! |
| Eterno | I thirst. I burn! I am eternal. |
| Zak | And "I" don't care. Whatever you did to these people, you're gonna fix it, right- |
| Eterno | I drink, but still I burn. |
| Zak | Whoa! |
| Eterno | Only the sap- will satisfy! Where is the Methuselah tree? |
| Zak | Maybe you didn't hear me the first time, but you've still got people to fix, or else... |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled "What?"] |
| Zak | Whoa, did that just... |
| Zak | Hey, nice teamwork! |
| Wadi | Boys? |
| Zak | "Eternal" now making sense... |
| Zak | Komodo! |
| Eterno | Now! You! |
| Wadi | The river! I know where it is! |
| Zak | Wadi, no! |
| Wadi | I cannot tell you its location. |
| Wadi | |
| Eterno | You will... return? |
| Wadi | You can undo what you have done to our families? |
| Eterno | Oh, yes! |
| Wadi | Then how could we not? |
| Zak | Come on, we'll take the DRV. Um, Mom has the keys. |
| Wadi | Do they look like these? |
| Zak | How do you... uh, never mind. |
| Wadi | The river does need to remain secret. |
| Wadi | I should have stolen one of these years ago... |
| Zak | Take it easy for a second. I've got to make a call. Oh, and there's probably going to be yelling. |
| Doc | What?! You couldn't have given us this information sooner. Zak, this is exactly the sort of recklessness your mother and I are trying to correct. Just stop and stay there. I can fly to you in less than- |
| Zak | Dad, would you listen to me? Yes, I'm sorry I didn't call right away. -Eyes on the road!- But this isn't me being reckless. I don't know how much time we have, and we're the ones who are here! |
| Doc | Zak, if you're trying to prove some point. |
| Zak | Look, I don't care about proving points. Wadi! Seriously, Mom, Komodo and a whole lot of other people are in serious trouble. I just need you to trust me and help me. |
| Doc | What do you need? |
| Zak | Everybody in that room, actually. Ow! |
| Wadi | We have arrived at the entrance. |
| Zak | You park like you drive. |
| Zak | This entrance wouldn't happen to have a door? |
| Wadi | Of course. It is opened by an ancient song. |
| Zak | Okay, let's hear it. |
| Wadi | My people don't teach the song to children. |
| Zak | What do you mean they don't? How do you expect? Did you think it would just come to you? |
| Wadi | You said the Secret Scientist would help us. You made very big promises. |
| Beeman | Hey, "Spiky locks". If you're done with lovey kissy time, maybe I can tell you about the musical module imprinted on that rock. It's a pattern similar to the Verdunian scale. I can get the notes, but I ain't singing. |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled singing] |
| Zak | So I know stalactites grow down and stalagmites grow up, but what are they called when they grow sideways? |
| Cheechoo | A gravity-defying stalagmal matrix? Oh, I've heard it theorized, but I never thought I'd actually see one! |
| Doc | Zak, how strong is the current? |
| Wadi | It seems to be not too bad. |
| Zak | Okay, you park -way- worse than you drive! |
| Cheechoo | It looks like the rocks have differing mineral compositions. Not all of them are stable. |
| Doc | Can you find a safe path through the matrix? |
| Cheechoo | From 'Tite to 'Mite? I think so. |
| Doc | Then get my son whatever he needs. |
| Wadi | Zak, we seem to have a salt trail. |
| Zak | I know. He's been with us for a while now. |
| Wadi | You knew. Why didn't you? |
| Zak | Shh. We can't risk a fight down here. If he touched the river even accidentally, that crackly salt thing he does would spread to all the water on Earth. We've just got to get to the Methuselah tree and hope the sap works for him. |
| Doc | Zak, what are you two whispering about? Is something- |
| Fiskerton | [Garbled] |
| Zak | Fisk! No! |
| Zak | Fisk, let go! It's too dangerous! |
| Doc | Zak! What's happening? |
| Zak | What are you doing here? We had a deal! |
| Eterno | I need the sap! I care for nothing else! |
| Wadi | Ah! No, the mother river. |
| Doc | Where are they? |
| Cheechoo | Do you see any of them? |
| Doc | Zak, what's happening? |
| Doc | Zak! Zak! |
| Zak | Come on! |
| Wadi | It's beautiful. Huh? |
| Zak | It's in trouble. |
| Zak | Quick, we have to try to damn it up! |
| Zak | What the-? We didn't just do that. |
| Wadi | No, it was the tree protectors. And if they know we're here, we are all doomed. |
| [Act 3] | |
| Doc | [Gasp] It's as bad as we thought. What was I thinking? Sending three children alone? If I'd done things my way to begin with... Wait. I see a salt trail. I may still be able to find you- |
| Doc | You... You destroyed my family! |
| Eterno | “Your family” kept me from the Methuselah tree. For that, you will all burn as I burn! |
| Doc | Anybody have an idea here? |
| Cheechoo | Uh... You mean other than never making you mad? |
| Pachacutec | You've proven the salt bonds can be broken. There must be a chemical equation to keep them that way. |
| Eterno | [Gasps] There is nothing -- you can do -- to stop me! |
| Eterno | I am eternal! |
| Doc | Nobody lives forever… |
| Eterno | [Gasps] |
| Doc | Zak! |
| Zak | I have the sap! We can still have a deal here! |
| Doc | Zak! |
| Eterno | No, no, no, no! |
| Pachacutec | Zak, Zak! |
| Pachacutec | Look at your mother's salt shell. The sap breaks the bond. If you have more, we may be able to free everyone. |
| Zak | But- There is no more. It was all in that flask. |
| Zak | Huh? Wadi, uh. What did you... |
| Wadi | Nothing. I did not. Control the protectors again, please! |
| Zak | I'm trying, but they're going nuts about something. What? |
| Zak | …What did you take, Wadi? |
| Wadi | It was so beautiful. I had to have it. |
| Zak | Wadi, you need to give it up now! Greed created Eterno, and it'll ruin you too! |
| Wadi | Please, I am sorry! Forgive me! |
| Doc | Zak, no! |
| Zak | I'm not a thief, and I don't care about your tree, but this flower is going to save people's lives! And you're not taking it back until it does! |
| Eterno | Aah! Mine! |
| Zak | No! |
| Eterno | Now! End this past! |
| Zak | No! Oh, wait! |
| Doc | There's no man left beneath the salt. |
| Doc | I'll have Dr. Pachacutec analyze the sap. If we can synthesize it, we should be able to reverse everything he did. |
| Zak | Yeah. Almost everything… |
| Pachacutec | That's the last of them. And the other scientists are already rehydrating the affected waters. |
| Zak | I can't believe you flew all the way out here and fought a salt guy just because I dropped a video phone. So tell me again how I'm the reckless one. |
| Doc | I guess it just runs in the family. But we're stronger with you, if you're ready to come back from the audience. |
| Zak | All right! |
| Wadi | And I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever steal anything again… that doesn't deserve to be stolen. |
| Maboul | Nothing deserves to be stolen. |
| Wadi | But what if someone else stole it first and I steal it back for the proper owner? I would be a hero. |
| Wadi | Goodbye, Zak Saturday. |
| Zak | Yeah, I'll, uh, see you around. |
| Zak | Huh? Hey! |
| [Credits Play] |